He had been on a mission to other planets to teach them about the teachings of L Ron Hubbard, SuperGod and Sci-Fi Writer.
Tom Cruise explains to this frightened family that Top Gun was not a movie about Gay Men.
Tom came back to a world that no longer seemed to admire him as a film star.
He returned to realize that his wife and daughter had left him. And that he was alone with the exception of his "friend" John Travolta.
Tom was distraught. Why had Scientology left his family in tatters and his Hollywood career in a major slump? He had done everything the sci-fi writer had told him to do.
There was nothing left to do but go into hiding with "friend" John Travolta.
They went to a place called Brokeback and it was there that they rustled cattle and experimented with anal sex for the first time. It was a magical time for both of them. They laughed, they played, they wrestled and they committed consentual rape.
They even invited their friend Cosmo up to join them.
Tom realized that since he had left, Earth had changed and its people had moved on. They no longer cared about him. They had dared to move on. They had dared to judge him.
Tom even went so far as to try and kill Oprah.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGMAH6pdg-Q
The last sighting of Tom was in the woods evading capture by FBI and CIA agents.
