I Just Wanna Be Friends

Ok, let's face it all relationships end.  Even the ones that end in marriage end!! It's a fact.  But what I don't get and wish would go away is that old female cliche, "I just wanna be friends."

I wish I could Wikipedia or Google who the first woman was who said this to a man. I am sure it was what started the Salem Witch Trials.  And possibly responsible for at least 6 beheadings back when that was the "in thing" to do when you were king.

Women sit you down and tell you how great you are, but that they "just wanna be friends".  What they don't know is that we as men would rather hear, "I fucked you're best friend", because it stings and annoys less than the "Friendship Escape". 

There should be honesty in a breakup, and the friendship excuse is anything but.  When a woman tells you she just wants to be friends she really means she wants you to pack your bags and move to another planet as soon as possible. She wants you to lose her phone number, address and forget what she looks like.

And god forbid you actually lower yourself to trying to be her friend, she'll suddenly never answer her phone or return texts and when you ask to get together she'll say its too soon. And if you actually do get to the final round where the two of you hang out, you're gonne spend that time trying to fuck her while she realizes you need to leave.

I have to admit Norah Ephron was right when she wrote the dialogue for Billy Crystal in When Harry...Met Sally, "Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."

How many female friends do you have? Attractive ones? And isn't true you really wanna fuck them?  And how many ugly female friends do you have?  See my point.

Women need to stop using the convienent escape route of saying, "I just wanna be friends", because you don't really want to be friends.  You just want the relationship to be over, which is ok, and you're right. Just don't lace it with that crap phrase. Guys see through it and guys get pissed when they hear it.

How would you like it if a guy walked up to you and said, "I just wanna fuck you"? Sounds crass and a bit insulting, and I am sure guys have said it. 

If you really care about letting the guy down softly then dispense with the cliche, break it off, and move on.  And don't even say, "maybe one day we can be friends."  The word FRIEND should never enter into a conversation about breaking up.

Just sever the head, lick the blood off your hands and move on.

Thanks Ladies!!!!

Dr. Teeth