Half of my life I've been watching....
Half of my life I've been waking up....
My mind is a swirl of technicolor thoughts and dreams. Tony Soprano asking me if I'm doing all right. The test dream. Unhappy Customers, negative feedback and the cattle call of ex girlfriends trying to pry their way back into my heart and mind.
Silver tongued electrical rain storm. Purple sky night. Danger on the outside so we wait indoor watching the water turn people into ice. Static Hail Storm on a dreary night. Earth's Final Chapter.
Cat vomits on my back as cigarettes burn in the ashtray while I sleep to thoughts of someone I cannot hold. Desperate illogical non confrontational text messages and song clues. Freaks and Geeks on audio in the background.
La Vie En Rose plays over and over in my mind as I get up repeatedly to pee and purge thoughts of yesterday. Letting go of all that haunts me while the cats jockey for position amongst me.
Playing guitar with Bob Weir as Robert DeNiro, while ex co-workers all figure out my lie. Figure out what I've done, although I don't know. They reject me. I feel rejected. They know.
Over-dosing restaurant goer's, labored breathing and jaded revelers abounding. Dread and anger play on a loop in the background while dour faced busboys clear the room for more Mafia involvement.
The alarm goes off. Too much sun. To much reality. To much effort to get up again. Want to go back to the test dream. Want to go back to days of star wars figures and roller skates. Four Square at the park. Holding mom's hand. drifting off to sleep in the back seat of a buick.
Leaving this life while I shovel snow.
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