Why I Hate Johnny Depp

I hate Johnny Depp.  I hate him so much I have become obsessed with the Depp.

Depp came onto the scene with a small role in Wes Craven's, A Nightmare on Elm Street, where he got sucked into the bed with his TV and was dead.  Oh how I wish that was real life.

Is this a photo of Depp dying or climaxing???

Then he went on to play Tom Hanson in the super cool (when your twelve in the 80's) tv show, 21 Jump Street.  He played a narc who busted teenagers for being teens, only actually these teens were into prostitution, extortion, drug dealing, terrorism, election rigging.....ya know the usual trouble teens get into.

But Depp became a Heartthrob otherwise known as extremely popular and that of course pissed him off because he is a rebel so he left the show.

He started along in movies, which and I am not going to go over movie by movie, but for a long time he was in movies where he played odd characters.  Ed Wood, Ed Scissorhands, Benny, etc..

He became more popular. And he became the Robert DeNiro to Tim Burton's, Scorsese.  These two have worked together countless times.  But it should be noted that Tim Burton has never done anything original, and seems hell bent on remaking and ruining everything he touches.  So Johnny Depp has joined him in ruining Alice In Wonderland, Charlie and Choc Factory, Dark Shadows, and this summer came Depp's biggest bomb, albeit without Tim Burton who I am sure is hard at work ruining another beloved film.

So what is my problem with Johnny Depp?

Simple, he never plays a regular person in any of his films.  And he is at the point of being typecast into only playing oddities and larger than life strange people.  At this point, when so many other superstars can still play normal everyday people. Johnny Depp has relegated himself to playing Freak Show characters in his films.

He attempted to play a human being once in The Tourist and that filmed bombed harder than the Enola Gay during WWII. (dated reference I know)

Johnny Depp wasn't even popular until he played Jack Sparrow in the awful, but successful Pirates of the Caribbean movie.  And even then he played an over the top Keith Richards wanna be pirate.

Johnny Depp's films fail over and over and over again.

In the last four years we've gotten...

The Tourist....FLOP.
Rum Diaries...FLOP
Dark Shadows....FLOP
Lone Ranger.....FLOP

How does this asshole find work?

Last year the Rock made more money than Depp.  And he is a former wrestler.

So what is drawing people to Johnny Depp's movies....oh wait I forgot nothing is because no one is going to see his movies.

Maybe Johnny Depp should do some small independent film where he plays an alcoholic writer who loses his wife and must raise his autistic daughter. (Just a thought.)

Something that reminds us he is an actor, not a circus attraction.

Get off your ass Johnny Depp and start acting.


I'm so cool and rebellious.  I reject acting and
successful movies.