POF ADVICE: Dating Online

Ok so I am on this really lame fucking dating site called Plenty of Fish and I see a lot of common mistakes made by women in their profiles so I thought I'd offer some advice and tips for them.

1. BOOBS- If your pictures feature you showing a major amount of cleavage or half naked then don't write in your profile that you are not looking for a FWB, or one night stand, etc., keep your boobs in your shirt if you want to be taken seriously and not just contacted for sex.

2. STAY IN/GO OUT-  So many profiles say, "I like to get dressed up and go out, but I also like to wear sweats and stay in.." Well, who the fuck doesn't. That comment is so redundant. 

3. DRAMA- Why do you feel the need to tell everyone you are not looking for drama. I mean, who the fuck is looking for drama?  Do we really not already know that you are not looking for drama?  If you were looking for drama you would right that in your profile so it's assumed your not.

4. BEST FRIEND- Don't post pictures of you posing with your friends who are much hotter than you. It just makes men want to know who "that" person is rather than you.

5. GUY PICS- Why post pictures of you with other guys?  Even if you say this is your Bestie or your BFF or your cousin, it still sends the message that you may have posted a photo of you with your boyfriend. It doesn't help your cause that your posing with other guys. Do you wanna see guy pics with them posing with other women?

6. KIDS- Don't put your fucking kids out on a dating website. Come on! Get a clue.  Protect their privacy.  And if you don't have kids, pics of you posing with your nieces and nephews just makes you seem desperate.

7. WEIGHT- If you are overweight, fat, or obese, the man is gonna find out at some point, so don't just post photo's of extreme close-ups of your face. And don't say your body type is average or a few extra pounds when it is clear that you are morbidly obese. Own up to who you are and what you look like. It shows more character and class.

8.  FIRST CONTACT- Its ok ladies to contact a guy first. We don't bite, unless you want us too. It is the 21st Century. Get over it.

9.  FIRST DATE- I hate when women write, "You plan, I show." That's just arrogant and rude.  And I also don't like that so many people wanna drink alcohol on their first date.  Let's not rely on alcohol to make us comfortable and remember too much alcohol makes us easy.

10. ENDLESS EMAILS- Seriously if your looking for a pen pal there are plenty of inmates that would love to write letters back and forth.  And if you are just looking for friends, join a club not a dating website.  At some point you need to move off the site and into the real world.

11. SEX- I realize many women pretend they are looking for a relationship to vet out all the emails they get from men's penis's, when they really just want to get laid. Hey its ok, we all wanna have sex. But just remember that when you fuck a guy within the first hour of meeting that most likely the guy will never wanna date you because he knows you're a whore and you probably can't be trusted. That's the trap.  Guys want you to be a whore, but once you are they will use it against you. 

12 THE PROCESS- Twenty emails, five phone calls, a coffee date just to see if you click and wanna go out on a date seems like a lot of effort and wasted time. Just get on the phone, then use the coffee as the date and decide.  But this whole fucking process feels like a Scavenger Hunt.  Just grow a pair and meet someone in a public place and figure it out.

13. PICS- Why would you even post a picture that is more than two years old? Your pictures need to be of what you look like right now. The person I am meeting is today not two years ago or longer. If you're forty I don't care what you looked like at 20 because you don't look like that now. And I don't expect you oo.

14. WEIGHT pt 2- Don't write in your profile that you are aware of your weight issues and that you are working on it, or that you accept you for you.  If you are or you did then you wouldn't feel the need to mention it.  Don't tell me you're losing weight, just go lose it.  And if you accept yourself for who you are then just leave it at that.  It shows more character.  But telling me you're working on it is like making a false promise that one day you'll be attractive. If I don't think you're attractive now then I don't deserve you and you don't want to be with me.


I am sure there are other things to write about but I am busy trying to convince this chick that I am a stock broker who makes $95,000 a year so she'll fuck me so I gotta run........