Wisdom?
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Speaking In Code
Whenever a girl calls me "sir" she is speaking in code. What she is really saying is,"You're to old to fuck me!"
Wisdom?
Wisdom?
Its A Fucked Up Life (The Real Its A Wonderful Life)
Every year at Christas time we get to watch the holiday classic, "It's A Wonderful Life" starring James Stewart, Donna Reed and Lionel Barrymore.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJfZaT8ncYk
I used to love that movie, until recently I realized there was something very wrong with this movie and that is this movie lacks REVENGE.
The following text will attempt to describe and explain some scene's the way they should have played out, especially if the film was made today.
1. A young George realizes that Mr. Gower the Druggist has poisoned someone with a bad batch of drugs. In the film George and Gower have a good cry after Gower slaps this shit out of George(more on that later). Come on. If I was George I would have either blackmailed Gower or would have dropped a dime on Gower and sent him to prison where he'd spend the rest of his days being some Mexican Gangs bitch in Oz.
2. Upon hearing the accusation that he killed someone by being a drunk druggist, Gower proceeds to slap George repeatedly, especially in George's already damaged ear. Come on man!! George should have immediately called his sledding buddies and the lot of them should have come in at closing time, locked the door and beat the shit out of Mr. Gower until Gower either dies or agree's to leave town. It seems obvious they didn't have 911 back in those days or else George could have had Gower arrested and to make sure the charges stuck he could have accused Gower of molestation.
3. In this "sue hungry" society we live in, after George's brother rides the shovel into the ice water, George's family should have sued the makers of the shovel, and the city of Bedford Falls, and won a lot of money in a cash settlement that in turn would have allowed Pa Baily to retire and not have to put up with Mr. Potter's bullshit.
4. When George runs into Violet, instead of making an ass of himself about wanting to see the world he should have told her that was really an innuendo for wanted to take her home and stretching out her ass and shoving his dick inside. She wanted to fuck, not hear about his travel plans. And she was obviously an easy target and look at the guys she was hanging with (obviously Made Men, but more on them later.)
5. When George and Mary are on the phone with Sam Wainright and they suddenly and passionately drop the phone to the ground, George had his in to rape Mary, but instead he kisses her and marries her. Come on dude, another woman was aching for the Baily Boner and you act the Gentleman.
6. Mr. Potter!!! What can I say but that the fact this miserly cocksucker got to see old age is an amazing feat. Polio didn't take his legs from him, but probably some other dude he pissed off who didn't go beg all his friends to bail him out, but instead call the right "friends" to help with his problem. Mr. Potter did nothing but live to fuck up the Bailey's lives, and they did nothing but stew in it and whine. Pa Bailey easily could have put a bomb in Potter's car and dealt with his problems. But instead left Potter alive for George to have to deal with. And Potter does everything to ruin the town. Now if this were Charming California, the SOA would have come in and put a pool cue up Potter's ass. But in Bedford Falls we just get stressed out and whine. When Potter finally steals that $8, 000 the foolish drunk Uncle Billy leaves lying around, it was time to go to the Mafia, ya know Violet's friends. They could have paid Potter a visit, gotten the $8, 000 back and made Uncle Billy disappear for being a fucking embarassement to the family, but no George gets all fucked up on Angel Dust and spends 20 minutes of movie time hanging out with some fag looking Irish Angel who wants to get his wings. George should have asked the Angel to get God to fuck some people up, but no George see's that he is better off alive and runs home. While he was away all his friends, who have jobs and aren't losers have been running around emptying out their bank accounts and cutting up their mattresses to get George $8, 000. George is lucky to have so many people willing to not eat for a month to help him because his drunk Uncle couldn't hang on to $8, 000. If George had only gotten the mafia to take care of things, everyone else in town wouldn't have gone broke to save George's dumb ass.
At the end of the movie Harry Bailey says, "to my brother George the richest man I know." This is true because in real life George would have scooped up the money and in the middle of the night would have picked up Violet and made a mad dash to Mexico to live out the rest of their days, because with the amount of money George got, well over $8,000, they'd have lived like King and Queen for the rest of their lives, which back then was only until about 60.
The movie is sweet, but lacks realism, and revenge. I hope someone remakes this classic movie and does it right by fucking up the drunks, thieves, and idiots the way they should be.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJfZaT8ncYk
I used to love that movie, until recently I realized there was something very wrong with this movie and that is this movie lacks REVENGE.
The following text will attempt to describe and explain some scene's the way they should have played out, especially if the film was made today.
1. A young George realizes that Mr. Gower the Druggist has poisoned someone with a bad batch of drugs. In the film George and Gower have a good cry after Gower slaps this shit out of George(more on that later). Come on. If I was George I would have either blackmailed Gower or would have dropped a dime on Gower and sent him to prison where he'd spend the rest of his days being some Mexican Gangs bitch in Oz.
2. Upon hearing the accusation that he killed someone by being a drunk druggist, Gower proceeds to slap George repeatedly, especially in George's already damaged ear. Come on man!! George should have immediately called his sledding buddies and the lot of them should have come in at closing time, locked the door and beat the shit out of Mr. Gower until Gower either dies or agree's to leave town. It seems obvious they didn't have 911 back in those days or else George could have had Gower arrested and to make sure the charges stuck he could have accused Gower of molestation.
3. In this "sue hungry" society we live in, after George's brother rides the shovel into the ice water, George's family should have sued the makers of the shovel, and the city of Bedford Falls, and won a lot of money in a cash settlement that in turn would have allowed Pa Baily to retire and not have to put up with Mr. Potter's bullshit.
4. When George runs into Violet, instead of making an ass of himself about wanting to see the world he should have told her that was really an innuendo for wanted to take her home and stretching out her ass and shoving his dick inside. She wanted to fuck, not hear about his travel plans. And she was obviously an easy target and look at the guys she was hanging with (obviously Made Men, but more on them later.)
5. When George and Mary are on the phone with Sam Wainright and they suddenly and passionately drop the phone to the ground, George had his in to rape Mary, but instead he kisses her and marries her. Come on dude, another woman was aching for the Baily Boner and you act the Gentleman.
6. Mr. Potter!!! What can I say but that the fact this miserly cocksucker got to see old age is an amazing feat. Polio didn't take his legs from him, but probably some other dude he pissed off who didn't go beg all his friends to bail him out, but instead call the right "friends" to help with his problem. Mr. Potter did nothing but live to fuck up the Bailey's lives, and they did nothing but stew in it and whine. Pa Bailey easily could have put a bomb in Potter's car and dealt with his problems. But instead left Potter alive for George to have to deal with. And Potter does everything to ruin the town. Now if this were Charming California, the SOA would have come in and put a pool cue up Potter's ass. But in Bedford Falls we just get stressed out and whine. When Potter finally steals that $8, 000 the foolish drunk Uncle Billy leaves lying around, it was time to go to the Mafia, ya know Violet's friends. They could have paid Potter a visit, gotten the $8, 000 back and made Uncle Billy disappear for being a fucking embarassement to the family, but no George gets all fucked up on Angel Dust and spends 20 minutes of movie time hanging out with some fag looking Irish Angel who wants to get his wings. George should have asked the Angel to get God to fuck some people up, but no George see's that he is better off alive and runs home. While he was away all his friends, who have jobs and aren't losers have been running around emptying out their bank accounts and cutting up their mattresses to get George $8, 000. George is lucky to have so many people willing to not eat for a month to help him because his drunk Uncle couldn't hang on to $8, 000. If George had only gotten the mafia to take care of things, everyone else in town wouldn't have gone broke to save George's dumb ass.
At the end of the movie Harry Bailey says, "to my brother George the richest man I know." This is true because in real life George would have scooped up the money and in the middle of the night would have picked up Violet and made a mad dash to Mexico to live out the rest of their days, because with the amount of money George got, well over $8,000, they'd have lived like King and Queen for the rest of their lives, which back then was only until about 60.
The movie is sweet, but lacks realism, and revenge. I hope someone remakes this classic movie and does it right by fucking up the drunks, thieves, and idiots the way they should be.
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