Blackhawk Hotties

Tonight these sexy girls will take the ice and bring the Stanley Cup back to Chicago....





It won't be a sweep, but it'll be a nice set of cups for the Hawks.

RIP James Gandolfini

James Gandolfini died today. He was in Italy.  He was fifty-one.  What can I say……

Everyone will write the same story, where he came from, what movies he did, and how he changed television for ever with his portrayal of Mob Boss Tony Soprano.

But James was so much more of an actor, as that’s how we all knew him.  We knew of his roles.  But his roles varied so much it was hard to pin him down.  It was sometimes frustrating to accept some of the roles he took.  I wrote earlier, a few blogs back, that I was frustrated with his post Soprano career choices, but now he’s gone and I will cherish every single one of those roles. I will cherish every single moment of screen time he has given us and I will remember the blue collar actor who seemed larger than life in some roles, and cowering from life in others.

James Gandolfini joins the ranks of Brando, DeNiro, Pacino, etc., but not because he is dead; he had already achieved that status long ago.  But his death reminds us of what category of actor he was.  And it sickens me to write about this amazing man in the past tense.  It always hurts to reflect on someone so amazing who dies so suddenly at such a young age.

It’s amazing how we respond so emotionally to people we’ve never met, but watching their work created a connection to them.  And so hearing about James dying today hurt my heart and was so unexpected that it felt like a punch in the gut.

The world is again an emptier place without James in it, and the film world is short another amazing talent.

God Bless you James.  May you rest in peace.  And may you never be forgotten.

---Doctor Teeth

URSULA UNDRESS the Interview

Doctor Teeth has a special present for the readers. Here is my exclusive interview with Burlesque Performer URSULA UNDRESS.  The Good Doctor may have finally found his soul mate, or at least a date for the Prom that I never went to. Enjoy the following interview while I log off the four dating sites I'm currently logged on to....

http://www.ursulaundress.com/

1.  What is your name, how did you come up with it and what do you do?

My name is Ursula Undress...I am a burlesque performer, producer, and instructor. My name is something that sort of rolled around in my head when I first started performing...but Ursula was born on stage when I performed at an Unknown Hinson show....

2. What do you say to people who think your in the sex business?

Well, I perform what is considered to be the original art of the striptease, which has morphed and changed over time to what it is in strip clubs today - and both have a unique sexual energy behind them, so technically, I am in the sex industry. The intent behind what I do is meant to be entertainment first, and sexual second - if that makes sense. Sometimes it is meant to be funny, or thought provoking...yet there is always an aspect of sexuality in there because, well, I AM taking my clothes off - regardless of what is actually shown. 

3. What turns you on?

Wit...smart and funny are the perfect combination. I also love interesting and dynamic people...oh, and I have a fetish for nice hands and men in well-tailored suits!

 

4. What do you like best about what you do?

I like the constant creativity that comes along with performing....and with teaching, I like the challenge of coming up with new choreography and showing ALL women that they have this red hot light inside them somewhere - and that it can be turned on no matter what age, shape, or time of life they are in.

5. What turns you off?

Ignorance, liars, small minds, overblown egos, doormats, men who don't see past the physical attributes of women (I haven't encountered women who do this, but I am sure it isn't limited to men - just my experience)....heh....sad that I have such a long list...I could go on, and on. 

6. What are the big plans coming up for your act?

I have changed a lot of what i do over the past year...I think the big changes are that I AM growing and changing as a performer and no longer limiting my music choices or trying to rein in my sexuality on stage - I used to hold back a lot, and it made me a mediocre performer.

7.  Is it true you've been banned in several European countries?

Just the Catholic-heavy ones....heheh!

 

8. Did you ever watch me on the Muppet Show or in the movies?

I did (I am older than I look)! I actually have a high school friend who used to call herself 'Dr. Teeth' after she had her smile corrected. She is awesome, so I definitely have a soft spot for you.

9. Was I your favorite muppet?

Oh honey, do I seem like the kind of girl who limits her choices to just one?

10.  During the whole Elmo scandal last year I really rethought my life's purpose.
        What is the purpose of your life?  Or life in general?

Not to sound too "Oprah" or anything, but I think growing and becoming who you are supposed to be....to always strive to become the best you that you can be. Yep...that was definitely too "Oprah"...

 

11.  What is the biggest misconception about what you do?

That I get sexually turned on while I perform - what we do is completely thought out, planned, timed, and hard work! 

 

12 What is your favorite word?

Confection

 

13.  What is your favorite color?

lately it is turquoise, but it changes....

 

14.  A real man is......

Not afraid to communicate, someone who can admit his weaknesses, and knows when he is wrong

15.  When making love I wish I was........

In an anti-gravity chamber

 

16.  Do Pigs and Frogs really belong together? 

Love is love, man... 

17.  Do you think I'm attractive?

Do YOU? That is the more important question...and the only person that really matters. 

 

18.  If not for Burlesque what would you be doing?

Hrm....I have a BFA....I would probably be doing more graphic design than I do now. 

19. If someone asked you to pose topless, you'd......

Ask what I was posing for... 

20.  Wanna go out on a date with me. I got lots of cash and no morals?

 That could be fun! However, you should know that i don't often date men with so many roommates...



Check out her performance here on YOUTUBE>


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9YzqWTGhrw

Escapism: DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS

Most people have some form or another of handling a shitty day or escaping from a shitty day.
Some go out a fuck whomever.
Some drink, and drink a lot.
Many smoke weed.
Some will do cocaine.

But oh so many will pop Xanax, Klonipin, or Valum.

But when you're in recovery you cannot really rely on any of that, except maybe the sex unless its risky, unsafe and craigslisty sort of sex.

Sometimes as a person in recovery I am pissed because I don't get to shut down like everyone else. I am not allowed to escape.

Sure I take Klonipin, but its for anxiety and I don't abuse it.

There are times lately when I just want to disappear in a cloud of marijuana smoke.

Something to make me forget my woes and cares and just float away.

There is honor in being sober, but supposedly there is also honor in having your leg blown off by an IED in Iraq..... go fuck yourself.



Today I am jealous and envious of those who are allowed to smoke, drink and float away.

Origin Stories: Super Hero Movies

How often are they going to keep giving us Origin Stories?

Bruce Wayne came out of his mommy's vagina.
Peter Parker came out of his mommy's vagina.
Superman probably came out of his mommy's vagina.
Most of the Avenger's came out of Vagina's.

They all originate from their mommy's vagina's.

Then they are kids.  Playing with toys, getting into fights at school then one day being called to duty to be superhero's. 

We get it.  Enough of the origin stories. Give us some cool rivals, monsters, evil twins, etc. to have fun with. Enough of the born from mommy's vagina stories.

We know where Spiderman comes from.
We know where Superman comes from.
We know Bruce Wayne needs Welbutrin.

They should make a series of adult video's in which we get to see all of their parents "making" them.  Maybe Spiderman's mom is a real slut in bed.

Maybe Superman's parents fuck very differently than humans, since Superman is technically an alien.

I'd love to see how aliens have sex. 

I wonder also what Wonder Woman taking on Superman and Batman would be like.

Just because they are superhero's doesn't mean that have big cocks.

But who knows......

BEFORE MIDNIGHT

It’s been 18 years since Jesse and Celine got off that train together in Vienna.  And in BEFORE MIDNIGHT, written and directed by Richard Linklater and starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy, both who also co-wrote the screenplay, we meet up with the couple once again.

Before Sunrise was about youth and dreaming and the idea of falling in love the way young people fantasize about it.

Before Sunset was about two dreamers who had one night together who are now in different places in their lives finding each other once again.

Before Midnight asks us and them, can love really last?  That is one of many questions and idea’s raised in the latest film.  All three films are “conversation” films. They are about people talking and in this third installment we get to hear more than just Jesse and Celine talk about sex, love, life and death, but ultimately we get to be alone with them again.  Only this time the once innocent dreamers of love and life are now weighted down by the complexities of life.  Jesse is divorced and has a kid he only see’s during the summer.  His ex-wife is angry that Jesse fell in love with Celine and left her.  Celine is at a crossroads in her own life. The two of them have twin daughters now and Celine is wrestling between being a “domesticated” housewife and her independence as a woman in the working world. 

The conflict in Before Midnight is that Jesse feels guilty over not being a presence in his son’s life.  Celine fears this is the beginning of the end.  Jesse was always an optimist while Celine was always a pessimist, but they made it work.  But tough life choices now interfere with the happy ending that we all want love to have.  What makes this film work is its honesty about how love is a feeling that we navigate through when life happens. And sometimes life is unforgiving, unrelenting and just plain tough.

Both are now past 40, and are so far removed from their youth and innocence.  They feel the pressures of being a parent, being a spouse but also being true to themselves.  What we see for the first time is these lovers arguing.  And they spend a great deal of the film arguing.  But it’s that arguing that makes us wonder if they are going to make it.  It’s that arguing that makes us think about the love’s we’ve had and lost as well as the divorces and heartaches we ourselves have endured.  We want them to stay together because that fits the fantasy, but will they?

The film, as with the other two, ends on an ambiguous note.  There is a great likelihood they will not survive.  Will Jesse really sacrifice what he feels his son needs in order to stay with Celine?  Will Celine understand the importance of Jesse being a father to his son and move back to the States with him, or will they split up?

The three films feel like Apted’s, “Up” series where we revisit the same people ever few years to see where life has taken them.  Sometimes life has been kind, other times life has been difficult and unforgiving.  Jesse is complacent with Celine, but Celine seems fidgety.  She’s always been that way.  What’s so great about these films is that these characters are so three dimensional, and each sequel has shown a great dedication in staying true to these characters.

What’s difficult about Before Midnight is too watch and listen to Jesse and Celine being mean and angry toward each other.  But even the most connected couples have moments and periods of disgust, disdain and resentment toward one another.  Love is not easy and it’s not promised to be there tomorrow.  But it is worth fighting for.  And we get a sense as the camera fades that this couple will fight to stay together.

Sure it doesn’t end as sweet and beautiful as the previous two installments, but it does end honestly.  And the viewer, as with the previous two films, is asked to look inside themselves for what they believe.  The pessimist will believe this couple is doomed. The optimist will believe this couple will survive, and the realist will believe anything is possible.  We take our own experiences into these films and either connect to their experiences in our own way, or feel disconnected.

I cannot recall any other films that have given so much pure sincerity and asked for the viewer to search within themselves for what they believe love is.  I personally hope they make it, but I fear they won’t. 

 

WANTED: Boss with Intelligence

Why is it that the dumb people seem to get to the top in America.  In your average work place it is the moron who gets promoted to manager and then they have no clue how to manage others.

It is very common for a person who has been with a company for many years to get promoted to manager, but just because you know the business doesn't mean you have people skills or managerial skills.  Just because you have written a schedule or know how to unlock the doors to the store doesn't mean your qualified to lead.

And when it comes to a restaurant, just because you own a restaurant doesn't mean you have restaurant experience.

Just because you own a business doesn't mean you have any experience in that business.

Its like buying a guitar and claiming you are the best guitar player in the world.  You need practice and time, and even then you may be only mediocre at best.

People with their ego's and their arrogance only serve to harm the workplace.

You should be a leader, but when you lead ineffectively you're subordinates not only don't to help the company, but in fact want to harm the company.

Mess with a person's money and they'll mess with your business.

A boss who is constantly making changes is a boss who doesn't know what they're doing.

Thursday Letters From Fans and Not....

Here is another edition of fanmail.....

Dear Doctor Teeth-

I found you on Craigslist and was hoping it would be under the man seeking man section, but not a chance. I am very disappointed but hope one day you'll want to "hook up" with me.

James Cargill
LaGrange Illinois

Dear Teeth-

You're fucking weird man.  I love it.  Keep it up.

Greg
Glen Ellyn Illinois

Dear Doctor Teeth-

It has always been my fantasy to have sex with a muppet.  I wonder how your furry hands would feel on my body.  I know I'm cray cray, but you turn me on.  I hope you like the pic.

Jenna
Carol Stream Illinois


Yes Jenna I would like to turn you on. I have sent you my phone number.  See you soon.


Dear Doctor Teeth-

You posted a picture of my fucking girlfriend you muppet cocksucker.  You're a fucking dead man.  And your blog is stupid assed shit.  Get a life.

Trevor Meaner
Niles, Illinois

Deer Creek: What A Day That Was: A Review

The July 4th weekend saw 60,000 Deadheads show up at a place that only seats 22,000.  Do the math.  It was high on energy only it was strange and negative energy.  There was a death threat against Jerry and so much traffic and people that it took us 3.5 hours to drive 3 miles to the show.  WTF!!!  Below is a recount of the set lists of this final Deerk Creek show and what the songs sounded like.

 

 

 

Here Comes Sunshine- A rousing show opener that promised a show we wouldn't end up getting. The band had great harmonies on this one.

Walking Blues- I just don't get Bob's blues songs. They aren't particularly good.

Dire Wolf-  Jerry is alive and the "don't murder me" line was eerie considering the threats against his life.

It's All Over Now- A competent yet uninspired performance of this Stones tune.

Broken Arrow- I guess we have to let Phil sing randomly.

Desolation Row*- Starts off great but the crowd of 2000 people crashed the gate thus rendering this concert infamous in Grateful Dead history. Bob Weir looked as if he wanted to kill someone.

Tennessee Jed- Jerry still doing a good job and giving us a good version of a song that was never my favorite.

Let It Grow- Bob sings it well but as if he just wants to get off the stage.

 

SET BREAK:  It was almost 70 minutes long.  The first row was full of FBI agents in tie-dyes.  The house lights were never turned off making this seem more like band practice than a concert.

Scarlet Begonias -> Jerry and the boys finally return to the stage for a good jam on this tune...

Fire on the Mountain- Jerry officially loses it on stage.  He has no clue what he's doing.  He plays only the third verse of the song and starts playing the most off key, sluggish, meandering "music" I have ever heard him play.  This was like a man tripping on LSD having a heart attack. Just plain awful to listen to.  The band tries to wake him up to no success. Phil even stops playing and tosses his hands up in the air.

Victim or the Crime- Bob looks at Jerry during the opening line, "Patience runs out on the junkie." Enough said.

It's All Too Much- It really was all too much.  Vince does a great version of this Beatles cover that I loved hearing at shows.

New Speedway Boogie -> Jerry comes back to life and gives us a rousing rendition of this early Dead tune.

Drums ->Who Cares
Space ->Who Cares

Attics of my Life -> The crowd erupted during the opening notes. I think the band forgot a verse, but no one cared. It sounded beautiful.

Sugar Magnolia- Bob knows how to end a show and this song never disappoints.

E: The Mighty Quinn- The boys played it well but you can tell they wanted to go home. This concert was a loss for us and for them. Although really not badly performed at all.

 

 

After the show everyone was cranky and disappointed. Dis-allusioned is more like it.  The security wouldn't let us leave.  Suddenly a tour bus came barreling down the road and off the property. It was the band.  They wanted to get the fuck out of dodge as quickly as possible and never look back. Funny thing is there is a story in a Dead Bio Book that states the bus got a mile down the road and then stuck in a ditch and a local farmer had to use his tractor to pull the boys out.  I guess their shitty night went on longer than ours.

 

The next night was cancelled.

The Dead never returned to Deer Creek because Jerry died. One suspects they wouldn't have been invited back although they have said Deer Creek was one of their favorite venues to play.

 

Such a shame and probably the most unfortunately memorable Dead Show I ever attended.

Sign Reads: We're Full Go Home.....IN ENGLISH

When are we going to finally admit that by letting everyone into this country we have made this country unsafe, bankrupt and overflowing?

When are we going to do something real about ridding ourselves of the plague of illegal immigrants?  Notice its always Mexican elected officials who want Amnesty for them. Of course you do; always looking our for your own people.  Why don't you go back to Mexico and be in that government.

I'm tired of the Mexican/American debate.

This is America.
We speak English.
We are here legally.

You are not.
You do not.
And you don't care.

You come here for the welfare and jobs and the free hand outs our stupid fucking government keeps giving you.


Get the fuck out and take most of our elected officials with you.

Soldier's Field 1995: The Final Show

We had fourth row for the show.  We were beyond excited, as most are before a Grateful Dead show.  We spent the afternoon out in the parking lot talking, smoking pot and having fun.

We made our way into the show.....

The moment Jerry took the stage my immediate reaction was, "Ewww! This dude looks awful."  We had just been to a show seven days earlier and he didn't look like this.  It had not been a good week for Jerry.  He was pasty and grey.  He seemed lifeless.

Set 1:
Touch Of Grey- Jerry started off the show with the usual suspect.  He flubbed a lyric or two, which at this point we expected.  His playing was a bit off key, hitting some sour notes.  But it was a decent opening.

 Little Red Rooster- Bob bores the crowd with a random blues tune, done better by most others.

 Lazy River Road- A great song for latter year GD, but Jerry hit so many sour notes during solo's, some downright painful.

 When I Paint My Masterpiece- When Bob cries out, "its been a long hard ride." it was as if we all felt the same way about a summer tour that was mired in death, controversy, and Jerry.

 Childhood's End-  Ok I guess Phil has to sing occasionally.

 Cumberland Blues-  A sweet and well performed surprise.

 Promised Land- Bob forgets the lyrics but in comedic fashion he grins and slaps himself on the forehead. The audience loves.
Set 2:
Shakedown Street- One of the greatest jam's this band can offer is marred by lackluster playing and Jerry mumbling his way through the lyrics.  Did he even know what song he was singing?

Samson And Delilah- Competently played. Never one of my fav's.

So Many Roads-God said to Jerry, "Sing son sing!!!" and Jerry came to life and performed the most heart wrenching version of this song ever.  And the energy in the audience was silent and full of tears.  We had been suffering right along side Jerry and in retrospect this was Jerry unburdening himself of his demons.  The song contained so much power and emotion.

Samba In The Rain- Vince songs are sometimes fun.  This was a very danceable tune.

Corrina- Bob brings the energy back for a great latter day Dead song. 

Drums- I never understood or really appreciated this part of the show. It was time to go to the bathroom or light another joint and sit down for a spell.

Space- Sometimes mind bending, usually just a lengthy tune up by the band.

Unbroken Chain- After so many years the Dead started playing this live, only problem was this was the one song they literally played exactly how it sounded on the album. Fun but uninspired.

Sugar Magnolia- Bob closes the show with some energy and power and rouses the crowd with his, "sunshine daydream..."

Encore:
Black Muddy River- Jerry's voice is very thin at this point, but it serves the song of a man who is walking alone and dreaming of his life gone by.  He makes a minor mistake, but the crowd is back with him feeling his pain and hearing the ache in his voice. Its Jerry's final song live ever.  The musician has been silenced.

 Box Of Rain- Phil the prick forces the band into this song to finish the show.  I found it insulting and robbing Jerry of the perfect legacy of playing the final song at the final Dead show ever. And to be left with Phil's Frankenstein voice as the finality of the Grateful Dead pisses me off to this day.  The only saving grace is that this song is about Death and is suitable for Jerry's passing one month later.


We left the show in awe of the So Many Roads and I silently felt disturbed by Jerry's appearance.  Something was not right, and one month later Jerry died in his sleep.

Its easy to have 20/20 hindsight, but in reality I think a lot of people knew that something wasn't right and the energy seemed to suggest this was the last time we'd see these guys play together.

And it was........

Someone Called Me A Boob

An old woman yesterday called me a boob, a phrase which I haven't heard in a long time. I was wondering if she was calling me this.....





or is she was calling me this...





The nerve of her to call me names at all. I snapped her cane in half and sent her on her way..

The Pefect Ass: Searching For The Moon

I am on the hunt for the perfect ass... no not Bill O"Reilly, but the perfect butt, tush, dupa, ass, whatever you call it.

Why?  Because Jennifer N. of New Lenox Illinois sent me this picture and now I am obsessed.





I want to take part in the loving of this great white ass.  Doctor Teeth is turned on by a nice untanned butt.  And since Jennifer decided to tease me with hers, I am on the hunt.  So what is it about the ass that we like....

So thank you Jennifer for making my furry muppet penis hard and giving me gonzo balls. How I wish Miss Piggy was here right now for some relief. 

THE PURGE starring Ethan Hawke (NO SPOILERS WITHIN)

Just got done watching THE PURGE where murder is legal for 12 hours, once a year.  It appears as if that date is March 22nd.

Crime is way down and poverty is at an all time low and the economy is booming....why? We also get to kill illegal immigrants, etc... (NONE OF THIS IS COVERED IN THE FILM)

Because once a year we get to legally kill homeless people and down on their luck people, therefore the welfare system and other programs aren't taxed to death. (NOT COVERED IN THE FILM).

Here is a few fatal flaws in this movies ideology....

1. Like people are in control enough to keep their murderous rampage in check for 364 days a year.  The gift with the Purge is that murder is legal, therefore you can't be charged.  Well let me tell you there are plenty of unsolved murders every day, therefore many people get away with it anyway.

2.  If you know someone wants to kill you and they don't succeed, how does that bode for your relationship with them the other 364 days of the year?  If you wish to kill your boss and he finds out doesn't he just fire your ass?

3.  If you wanna kill your spouse and don't succeed won't they just divorce you the next day?

4.  Is rape legal? Is looting legal?  If there are no Police or Fireman, etc., to stop you then what's to stop you?  Does that mean theft and rape are legal once a year also?

5.  Are we expected to believe that gang members and serial killers and abusive spouses are able to "keep it in their pants" for 364 days?  I DON'T THINK SO....

6.  There are so many crimes that don't involve murder, actually most don't, therefore how can crime be down?

There are so many flaws in this otherwise entertaining movie.  If you accept the premise as the provocation for the rest of the film but don' think about it, then THE PURGE is scary, tense, fun.

But can we really overlook the logic the film is based on?

FRIDAY FUN GIRLS and MORE....

What is more fun that sexy girls drinking beer.....and kissing...


Or how about HOTTIES playing volleyball...



Believe me she is playing volleyball....

Or how about Sexy Girls smoking weed..



And finally a fat chick eating lunch....

Powerball Cut In Line

So an 84 woman who probably has just months to live won $590 million in the Powerball after a much younger person let her cut in line.  Had she not been so nice she'd be sitting on $590 mil right now.  So much for being nice.

And will this 84 year old woman even give this chick a few million? Doubt it.

Doctor Teeth has said this over and over....

OLD PEOPLE ARE WORTHLESS.

They drive 22 mph in a 50.
They turn in the middle of the street.
They still write checks.
They modify all their food until its just a blog of nothing on a plate.
They smell.
They are full of age spots.
They only give you $5 on your birthday.
They tip 7%.
They aren't hot.

And they fucking steal $590 mil from those of us who are sure to live a bit longer than they.

It's time to take our country back from the Senior Citizen Brigade that seeks to keep us down.

A "thank you" isn't worth $590 mil
A nice gesture isn't worth $590 mil

Nothing is worth $590 mil besides $590 million.


You don't wanna know what I'd do to get that money in my pocket.

Fuck you old people!!!!

At least until I too am old then its FUCK YOU YOUNG PEOPLE!!!

From Beiber to Stern

Its been a crazy week. 

Well not really, because I am not a celebrity but I had a "wet dream" the other night so here goes...

I had this dream that Bieber, Lohan, Bynes, Octomom, Tan Mom, Farrah Abraham, Kim K, and assorted other annoying celebritards were all in the same airplane that was hijacked by 19 Saudi Arabian terrorists and the plane was flown into the side of Mount Rushmore.

The plane survived.
The hijacking jihadists survived.
The Mount survived, but....

The Celebritards all died from massive stupidity and lack of purpose.

The Feds couldn't identify the bodies because they didn't give a FUCK!!!


In other Blogitaboutit News,

Is it me or does Justin Bieber look like Brandon Tina (Hilary Swank) in Boys Don't Cry?




And finally, What the fuck happened to HOWARD STERN?!!!!  Co-Hosting America's Got Talent has shown that Howards relentless battle to be loved and accepted still hasn't ended.

He has $400 million and a hot fucking wife.  Three healthy kids and is probably the most recognizable and successful broadcasters in radio history, but NO...........

He's got to be one of four losers on a loser TV show where America DOESN'T HAVE SHIT FOR TALENT!!!
Fuck you Howard Stern you turd!!!!!


Take Care Folks-

I'm outta here.....

James Gandolfini What The Fuck

James Gandolfini was this amazing actor who portrayed the most amazing character on HBO's The Soprano's from start to its awful finish.  Even during that last season, while the show sucked, Gandolfini's acting did not.

But since that show went off the air 6 years ago, Gandolfini's acting choices have become questionable.

He has mainly done bit parts in movies that either haven't done very well, or have done well no thanks to his involvement.  He was in the remake of Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 as the mayor, but the movie sucked.  He was in Zero Dark 30, but his role did nothing to assist the film.

In many ways his most successful role since the Soprano's was as Carol in the amazing and underrated Where the Wild Things Are. Although its his voice that appears not his face.

But for the most part James has been appearing in small movies that no one really sees.
.

In The Loop, Down the Shore, Welcome to the Reilly's, Not Fade Away....

Sure he popped up in The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, a movie I enjoyed, but again he was relegated to guest star status.

When is Gandolfini going to go back to helming something big and something great? 

On a side note: His return to mafia territory in the vastly underrated Killing Them Softly seemed as aimless and wasted as his character in the film.  But I bet James purposely picked out a mafia-type that was so anti-Tony in his presence. 

I hate to admit it, but I'd like to see him do what DeNiro did and poke fun at his mafia status like Analyze This.

I know he doesn't need to money and maybe he finds these smaller roles more challenging, but they are not adding up to much from the viewer perspective.  Especially if the viewer doesn't see the film.

Come back to the light James.  We're waiting for you....

Furry Women or Silky Smooth

I wanna be honest.  I wanna be real.

Women who look like they are sitting on top of a shaggy dog turn me off.  We are not cave people anymore.  There are razors and all sorts of shaving creams.  You need to shave your shit.  Do you really like having your crotch and ass full of hair?  Do you wonder why the guy doesn't enjoy going down on you?

Shave that shit up a bit. You don't have to go Mr. Clean bald, but I bought you a razor so use it. I didn't buy it for your face.  I bought it for your lady parts.

And if you haven't shaved and wanna get into some strange foreplay, I'll shave you while you watch Real Housewives of I Don't Give A Fuck.....



This is a photo of my ex girlfriend Jeannine.  She refused to shave.  I refused to date her.



This is what happens when a blind girl tries to shave while driving in traffic. 

And now a word from our sponsor......

blogitaboutit@hotmail.com

I have hundreds of readers reading my shit and no one ever comments. Leave me a message or email me at blogitaboutit@hotmail.com

I wanna hear from you.........

Doctor Teeth Sometimes Human....

I'm not always up for posting pics of young hotties or taking on the government.  I'm not always in the mood to make fun of sitcom stars and the hypocrisy of life.  Sometimes I wanna be real.  Sometimes I want to let you all know how I feel.

Tired.  Depressed. Full of anxiety and rage.  Alone.  Dreaming.  Music.  Waiting for the sun......

Whatever. 

I am reality illusion.  I am the promise of nothing.  I am a muppet without a place to lay my head.

You come here for the filth, but I come here to clear my mind of the clutter.

Enjoy the show!  Maybe you'll get a meltdown or two.... or just more pictures like this....

Romance and Coffee (While Thinking of Before Sunrise)

"It's early in the morning, bout a quarter to 3 and I'm just sittin here talkin to my baby over cigarette's and coffee......"

Something about that image sits restlessly in my mind.  Late night caffeine, nicotine and that conversation about why things aren't working out between us, when that first time I met you my heart raced and my mind couldn't focus on anything or anyone but you.

Sitting lazily on a chair and consuming movies like Before Sunrise wondering if I'd ever find myself in that situation asking a beautiful woman to get off the train with me for a walk through Vienna.

Does that scenario even exist anywhere but the fantasy world of the cinema?

Where is the romance in this particular time.  It seems so natural that it would exist.  But even if I realize that the movie is a movie, I still believe that romance is real....or do I?

My heart cries out for more than a one night stand or a trip to the coffee shop for empty conversation while resisting the urge to check my phone that buzzes with the latest non sequitor text message telling me nothing I currently need to know.

When a walk in the rain, a cup of coffee and a lazy afternoon watching couples fall in love doesn't equal a connection, then I don't know what does. 

When you have wandered this place for four decades and still find yourself wandering alone, you wonder if romance is dead.

And I think what would happen if Jesse and Celine got together, would they now be found at Walmart getting green colored yogurt for their children, or sitting in the drive thru at McDonalds, barely tolerating each other while they wait for their $1 sandwich.

And for every beautiful woman who passes by, my heart gets hopeful, but that quickly fades when I realize that she doesn't even notice me.

I want to exist solely in the confines of a movie.  Pure and final escapism for the endlessly jaded.

I just want one more cup of coffee with you.....whomever you are.

I Must Be Going Crazy......

Was there ever any doubt that I am at least ten miles out to sea in regards to my sanity?
This blog is now being used to try and prosecute me and persecute me in a court of law.
I was bounced from GITMO, but got pulled over for the solicitation of a Muppet.

So I sit here in county jail, with a pack of  smokes, a computer and a harmonica which I use to entertain the boys at night to keep their mind off my ass.



Why do I look like Harry Shearer in that photo?

Anyway....

They asked if I wanted a revolution and I said, "HELL YEAH I DO!!!"

So when does it start they ask me?

I didn't know I was leading one.....



I guess I am.