Thursday, July 25, 2013

Straight to DVD: The Christian Slater Curse

There are a string of actors who have become 'Straight to DVD' actors and sometimes it is shocking who has a movie that goes straight to DVD.
It should be noted that just because a film didn't open in your neighborhood, doesn't mean it didn't open in a theater, but odds are if it only opened in New York or Los Angeles for a week, it still sorta counts as a Straight to DVD film.

Here are the power trio of actors....

Christian Slater- He is the reigning king of straight to dvd.  He hasn't had a film hit the theaters since that awful UWE BOLL film a few years back. And let's face it if you're in a Uwe Boll flick at all your career is in trouble.  Christians career hit the skids years ago because, of course, he got into drinking and drugs and domestic abuse, etc. and hasn't been able to recover since. He's also tried two tv shows that combined didn't last a single season.  I bet he feels lucky to be getting any work at all.

Cuba Gooding Jr. - What makes his straight to dvd career so shocking is that he doesn't seem to have a drug problem or anything and he even won an Academy Award!!!! But he no longer has films that come out to the theater.  He is going to play a small role in MACHETE KILLS in September, but then again being in a Robert Rodriguez film is not a career comeback, because like Tarantino, Rodrigues plucks actors out of obscurity and puts them in his films. There are dozens of actors who have Tarantino and Rodriguez to thank for jumpstarting their careers even if they only go another 500 miles.

Val Kilmer- There are so many people in Hollywood that refuse to work with this guy. He is reported to be a pain in the ass of mammoth proportions.  He is a prima donna who thinks he's better than the rest.  Well its great to be the greatest and not have anyone wanting to work with you.  This guy was in some huge hits...TOP GUN and he played BATMAN.  But when your attitude sucks, your looks fade and you gain 50 lbs. Your lucky to be in films at all.

Now there are a few others who have surprisingly popped up in Straight to DVD films.

Harrison Ford- This legend did a film called Crossing Over about Border Agent crap, and it has an all star cast but it wasn't good enough to be released in theaters and went straight to dvd.

Al Pacino-  He and Channing Tatum appeared in the pathetic cop film, Son of No One. Watching this film and Pacino's performance in it makes it no surprise that this went straight to DVD.  Pacino must have owed someone a favor or had to do community service for appearing in Jack and Jill, because his presence and performance in this film is just plain awful.

Robert DeNiro- Let's be honest, it should have been Robert DeNiro that died not James Gandolfini.  The fact that anything this guy does even gets made let alone released in a theater is of complete shock to me.  But he appeared in 50 Cent's film Freelancers about crooked cops.  DeNiro played a bad cop who had Fiddy's dad killed.  The film is so poorly written and acted. It stuns me that this is the second time DeNiro has been in a film with Fiddy Diddy.  Now DeNiro has a film out with John Travolta called Killing Season that has opened in a small handful of theaters but also went straight to Video on Demand the same day.  This is not good for two Giants of the film world.

James Gandolfini- Now in Gandolfini's defense he has done plenty of films that were so small they were never really meant for theater screens.  He has had some films come out at the theater but his appearance in films are merely cameo roles, much like DeNiro did in the 80's and does today.  Sadly Gandolfini recently died and we won't get a chance to see where his post Soprano's career was heading, although I wrote a blog about that....  http://doctor-teeth.blogspot.com/2013/06/james-gandolfini-what-fuck.html?zx=4e0d2953fc5ab1c3

50 Cent- This guy isn't an actor so his films should go straight to DVD, but the reason I mention him is that he produces and acts in these films and has gotten people like DeNiro, Bruce Willis, Rosario Dawson, and a few other big names to appear in his shitty films that go straight to DVD, but hey someone must like him because he has a bunch of these films, and big named stars appear in them.

***There are so many more actors who have appeared in straight to DVD films and it's not always there fault.  Some studio's decide at the last minute to dump a film meant for the theater on DVD instead because the finished product was not what they expected.  Some straight to DVD films are actually good, although naming on escapes me at the moment.

Well I have to run now as I'm sure that Christian Slater has a dvd being released at any moment.