So a co-worker of mine is going under the knife to get his wisdom teeth pulled today and last night I had my first flashback. I woke up sweaty and thinking I was in some Vietnamese Prison Camp with Abe Vigoda from The Barney Miller Show....
I couldn't shake the memory of those awful moments when I got my wisdom teeth pulled.
It was a hot summer day in 1999 and I was already reeling from two Xanax and the Valium the Vietnamese Dentist gave me. I was blindfolded and led into the operating room.
I had my headphones on and was listening to the Grateful Dead as I drifted off...
About two hours into the procedure I woke up!!!! I vaguely remember the dentist asking me if I was all right. I looked over and saw what appeared to be a very sexy asian assistant.
She asked me, "Evwy-ting ok GI?"
I shook my head no. I could feel it in my bladder. I had to pee and I had to pee now. So the dentist and his assistant both took an arm and with the IV still hooked up they carried me down the hallway. There was one slight problem. The way the office was set up; the bathroom was outside the office. So they led me into the janitor room. There was a mop, a bucket and a sink coming out of the floor.
So this is how I was going to die.
I was in and out of consciousness. But I regained it long enough to feel someone's hands on my beltbuckle and zipper. God I hoped it was the gorgeous assistant.
But I suddenly realized it was the Dentist HIMSELF!
I was almost to drugged to
