Thursday, February 7, 2013

Muppet Chaos






Some people see right through me.  “You’re no doctor, no musician, no Muppet.  You’re an unstable guy who writes under an alter ego so you can spew whatever shit comes to mind without responsibility of a filter.”  And they are sometimes right.

I am no Muppet.  I am no Doctor, and sometimes I am so unstable I am surprised I can walk a straight line, but when you push me I am fucking pushing back.  When you fuck me I will fucking destroy you.   When you turn on me you have become my enemy and I will consider you as such and treat you with no common decency or respect.  You sacrificed that. 

I know your weaknesses and I will exploit them to punish you emotionally when you punish me. 

I’ve gave up on normal along time ago.  I gave up on sanity a long time ago.  I gave up on believing in the kindness of mankind at least two presidents ago.

My blog is a tool.  It’s a method of keeping as sane as I fucking get.  It’s a way to express the insanity that possesses my mind.  It is my tool.  It is my weapon.  I don’t need to touch you when I can destroy you with words.

Sober, or not, I am angry and I am mean.  I am losing the battle of normalcy.  I am a Muppet gone wild.  I have limited control over my temper.  I have lost that Hippie-free love-bullshit a long time ago.

I am a person with a lot of pain, guilt, suffering and rage.  I am a forgotten dream.  I no longer have faith in medication, 12 Steps or Psychotherapy.  I don’t believe in God, and I don’t believe I will ever regain control over myself enough to have a happy and fulfilling life.

I am a man of rage; a man of hate.  I am being swallowed up into the nightmare.

I just hope I don’t take anyone down with me.

I am a lost cause.  I am anti-social and resentful.