I had a knock on my door this morning. It was the police. They wanted to bring me in for questioning because so many cats have gotten sick or died under my care. They think I may be poisoning them in order to get the insurance money.
I told them repeatedly that the cats have no life insurance. And since we live in America, they have no insurance at all.
I asked them if Obama Care covered veterinary expenses, but they didn't know. What the fuck do the police know anyway?
I asked them if they had anything better to do than harass a muppet with a horrible bath salt addiction when 13 people were shot in one fell swoop in Chicago last night. They said that Rahm Emanuel had it covered by giving a speech with big words in it.
I told them they should drop a fucking bucket of chicken in the middle of ground zero and maybe the shooting will stop. They didn't like my racist joke, but I don't like gangbangers using innocent people as target practice.
Maybe if they stopped holding the gun sideways, they'd hit their intended target, but they're too fucking stupid. If they hold the gun the correct way then they aren't emulating their favorite rap stars. Do you think 50 Cent would hold the gun correctly? No fucking way. Don't be so fucking stupid.
Maybe there are black cats coming into my apartment and harming my cats.
I'm sure of it.
Anyway I ranted so long to the police, they forgot to arrest me and left without incident.
How cute that the little boy is learning to hold a gun, but he's holding it all wrong. Its not sideways. If he keeps that up he'll end up hitting his intended target. His uncle on the right is doing it right.
A for effort.....
