Out in the first round is Margaret Thatcher's funeral. No suprise there.
Out in the second round was the midnight screening of Scary Movie 5.
Out in the third round was The United States of America. WTF!! How the hell could we not be the top contender. I thought North Korea hated us almost as much as it hates South Korea, and the only reason it hates South Korea is because South Korea is close enough to throw eggs and insults at.
I am disappointed. I placed a very large bet with my bookie that The US was going to win the Grand Prize. A Nuclear missle hasn't happened in this country since Full House got renewed for a second season.
So who won the Grand Prize Drawing.......fucking Japan.
Since Godzilla, left Tokyo to help out the North Korean's with a 5 year, $10 million contract, the North Korean's realized that Japan had now become an easier target.
Recent pictures of Godzilla sporting hips like a Kardashian made people wonder whether or not his was physically up to the task. Dr. Drew was invited Godzilla to appear on his revamped and rebooted Celebrity Monster Movie Fit Club. So far, Godzilla's people have denied Dr. Drew has reached out to the Japanese Monster.
Kim Sung Badly was quoted as saying, "We going make bomb on Japan. Hurt people. Make death.", to which my in-the-field reported replied, "What the fuck did you just say!?"
So while The US continues to argue over healthcare and gun laws, it looks like Japan will be the lucky recipient of a Nuclear Missle that will never make it past the driveway of the place where it'll be launched.
How funny would it be if the missle failed so badly that North Korea bombed itself.
