Gun Shy:2nd Amendement Style

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Black Jesus My Hero

I love Jesus so much, but what really brings me comfort is Black Jesus.  He is the true Jesus.

 

In my dreams, Black Jesus can kick everyone's ass.  He's in a gang called the Disciples so people respect him.


Sometimes after watching House, my black jesus looks like Omar Epps.

I love when black Jesus goes into bad neighborhoods and starts kicking ass.

Sometimes Black Jesus looks Rastafarian, which means he loves Bob Marley music and smokes a shit load of weed.

Any Jesus that smokes weed is a cool Jesus by me!!

Sometimes Black Jesus turns himself into Ron Jeremy so he can fuck hot pimply faced young white girls...


I guess what I'm really tring to say is that Black Jesus is so cool.  And I am such a big fan.  I really praise him and pray that one day he and I can hang out together. I'll take him out to eat....



Thank you Black Jesus for all that you do and all that you are. I love you.

-Dr. Teeth

Godzilla in the USA

It happens in Japan all the time.  We finally had 911 happen here in the USA.

But what I fear the most, the thought that keeps me up at night, is the possibility of a GODZILLA attack on the United States of America.

What is our government doing to keep us safe from a Godzilla attack?

After we dropped Nukes on Tokyo in 1945 little did we realize that part of the massive fall out of our actions was to create a nuclear monster taller than a tall building, and angrier than Rosie O'Donnell without a tampon.  We created Godzilla.

Now Godzilla is an American Made creature, but it lives in Japan, which it realized was the proper decision due to America's arduous citizenship process and it's treatment of illegals.  But what is too stop Godzilla from swimming across the ocean and onto our shores?


That is one menacing looking motherfucker.  Beware.

I have contacted The Pentagon to ask what battle plan they have in case of a Godzilla attack.  They have admitted that they've had a secret weapon in place for years to combat this threat.  It wasn't ready on 911 as they were still b, bring her back to life, but now the weapon is ready....


Nell Carter's Corpse.  Working out in the nude and ready to take on Godzilla.

But can Nell Carter's enormous body be enough to stop Godzilla's rampage?


This crowd of people certainly hope so and are keeping vigil around the country.

GODZILLA vs. NELL CARTER coming SUMMER 2013.

Will humanity survive!  Will America survive.

God Help us all Nell Carter.  Gimme a break!!!!!

Look For Me on Facebook

Hey You Guys!!!!!  Look for me on my all new FACEBOOK PAGE:

Read the blog, LIKE me on Facebook, and buy some cocaine and watch fecal porn all day with Russian Woman and Australian Men.

https://www.facebook.com/?sk=welcome#!/Blogitaboutit

Death of the Cat Named Daniel

What the fuck!!  2 Cats gone in 8 months.

Daniel went to sleep on tuesday 3-19-13 at 3pm.  It was a blue sky day and a chill in the air.

I fought and struggled to get him to go to the bathroom, but he just wouldn' or couldn't go.

We tried medicines and diet changes, but nothing worked.

Never have I felt so powerless. The frustration was overwhelming.

Daniel started to fear me.  Hiding under the bed or under chairs.  He always thought I was coming after him, possibly to hurt him, never realizing I was trying to save him .

I began to sacrifice my own health for him. 

Why does this shit happen?

Handing Daniel over to the Vet was so difficult. It was as if we were glued together. I just had to hand him over and walk out and drive away.

What else could I do.  We tried.  We tried so fucking hard.  I just couldn't fix him. 

He was only 6. 

I don't believe in God, but I am so angry at him right now.

I want Daniel back.  I want Zoe back.  They didn't live long enough.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAA1rWy9FOc


But they're not coming back.  And I won't kid myself with delusions of a Kitty Heaven or anything.  He is dead.  Nothing.  He has probably already been cremated and his ashes dumped in some ten cent garbage bag tossed in a dumpster full of unfinished lunches and cans of Diet Coke.

Such an honorable way to go.

When I die, just toss me in a pile of dog shit and maggots. I don't care.

This life is magic for some, but a piss stained wall for others.

And I feel fucking pee'd on.

If there is a GOD, then FUCK YOU COCKSUCKER!!!

Comments

I invite and encourage comments on my different posts. It lets me know you're reading and it lets me know who you are and where you're reading from.

Please leave a note, an joke, an insult or some money.

Thanks-

Dr. Teeth

Dry Mind and Sizzurp

You know this great and amusing shit doesn't always flow out of Dr. Teeth's mind.  It takes inspiration or Sizzurp.

Let's start with Sizzurp. What the fuck is wrong with these black Rap Artists.  They need to get high off of $10 worth of Robitussin? 

This ugly motherfucker just got out of the hospital because he Od'd on the Sizzurp. 

You know what I am instituting a rule right now, its called Cough Syrup, not Sizzurp And its 50 Cents not Fiddy Cent.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now lets talk about the gangland activity in Chicago.  We keep getting these reports that the person shot this time was, "not the intended target"., and this explains why there are so many gangbangers.  They are so fucking bad at shooting that they kill everyone but themselves.  I say start an after school program on target practice.  Teach these young boys how to hit their intended targets.



My bad, I didn't mean this type of gang-banger, I mean this type...


I don't understand why Rap stars can't take advantage of their fame and fortunes and leave the Ghetto living behind.  They still wanna engage in Feuds, gun carrying, cough syrup overdosing and sending a bad message to the black youth of America, all while reconfirming why so many people have racial issues with black people to begin with.

Once they change their attitudes maybe then will white people change their's. 

Oh no Dr. Teeth is a fucking racist....no Dr. Teeth isn't afraid to speak the truth.  When we avoid the difficult truths, progess is at a standstill.

What's the name of that one black muppet?


That's right there were no black fucking muppets.  Do the math folks. Do the mothafuckin' math.

Peace 5000

The Next Phase

Oh life marches onward.  Looking at the horizon of 40 years.  Feeling tired and unable to rebound like I used to back in the 20's.

Friends are starting to die, parents especially are starting to fade. 

What I wouldn't give for a syringe of 1984 if only for ten minutes.

I am a drug addict but I seek no drug more than I seek the innocence of life I felt back in the early 80's.  If they could bottle that up.  I'd sacrifice 20 years of my life to take it.

Life gets so much more blunt and real. So much more grey and raw.

I am weighed down and looking for relief.  But where is it too come from?
Where am I going?

Don't ask anymore.......

Princess Leia the Hutt

We all age. Its a fact. But what the fuck happened to Princess Leia?  I think that at some point in Return of the Jedi, Jabba drugged her and stuck his fat, Hutt cock into her and they created a baby.  The baby was secretly delivered in the Ewok village and kept hidden from view .


Princess Leia the Hutt was on the today show to discuss paternity.

As we can see from the picture below Leia the Hutt even sits in a similar pose as her father Jabba.

She just lacks the opium pipe and the little sidekick.


On a recent episode of Maury Povich it was revealed that Princess Leia and Jabba were also the parents of this guy....





Kevin Smith was unable to return our calls here at Blogitaboutit becuase he was giving Jason Mewes a Dirty Sanchez.