Celebrities Under the Age of 21 I'd Like to Fuck

1. Dakota Fanning- This chick has turned into a fucking hot little blonde with a nice tight little ass and a fresh, I haven't been fucked face. She is 19 and ready to fucking par-tay!!!!!!!!


2. Miley Cyrus- Ever since the 2013 AMA's this crazy broad got even crazier and I bet she would take it up the ass after three lines of cocaine.  She also probably snorts bath salts and smoke Spice, so she wouldn't remember a thing.  Damn she is fucking fine.



3. Chloë Grace Moretz - Ever since hearing her say the word CUNT and seeing her wear a school girls outfit in KICK ASS, I wanted to make this bitch my sex slave. I, unfortunately have to wait a year since the age of consent in Illinois is 17, unless I take her to Canada or some shit.  She just has this look like, "Please fuck me Dr. Teeth, I'm so hot."


4. Abigail Breslin- Ever since I watched her refuse to drink water in SIGNS and then take on zombies in ZOMBIELAND I knew this young hottie had to be added to my list of under 21 celebrities I'd love to fuck. She is tight, hot and ready to party.  She looks like a young Linda Lovelace.



5.  Elle Fanning- Damn, I get two take on two Fannings at once.  Dakota and Elle, meet my muppet penis.  Let's do this. Or wait, maybe we need to go to Canada to do this since the age of consent is like 14 or some low shit.



I'm sure as time goes on this list will grow longer and harder and throbbing....AHEM...sorry about that, but as long as Hollywood keeps sexualizing these young hotties, I will be there to dream about them.

Its not illegal to fantasize and hell these girls are all at least 16 so where is the crime?! Where is the crime I ask you!!!!



***My attorney advised me to write THIS IS A PARODY here in case people don't get it. I saw fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.***

Miley Cyrus Cuntroversey

Everyone is chatting up the internet about Miley Cyrus's LSD crazed semi-porno performance on MTV's AMA's.  I didn't even know MTV associated itself with music anymore.

Her performance supposedly disgusted everyone, but lets face it, no one was disgusted, they just needed something to talk about. American Boredom.

Monday morning came and everyone was comparing this 20 yr old whore to Lady Gaga's whorish look and act also.  Both girls, although I am not sure Gaga is a woman, both took the stage looking like they left the set of a porn shoot although at least Miley put clothes back on while Gaga continued to strut around naked.

This is what music has come to.

People are saying this will hurt Miley's career, but lets be realistic, this will help her career and maybe she can stop trying to convince us she is no longer Hannah Montana.


The fact is this is what makes careers. And just wait it'll be a year or two more before there is footage on the internet of Miley sucking a huge cock or masturbating.

All of these girls are pathetic.  Music in general is pathetic.

Black rappers all fighting in made up fights.
Female singers all trying to out-whore each other.
Justin Beiber who looks like a butch lesbian who smokes weed, races cars, fucks monkeys and is just a pathetic loser.

And then there are all the others who just make plain old boring pop, studio created music that all sounds like the same bubble gum crap.

Miley did a great thing and people will be downloading her music, and she will be interviewed endlessly and she will make a lot more magazine covers.

But after you've shocked people the only thing left is to make good music or make hardcore porn.

I am voting for a hardcore porn XXX video.

Cum On Miley.....