I met Gertie at McDonalds back in 2006 where I was working for a time when gigs and writing assignments dried up. Actually I was completly fucked out on Meth.
My mom flew in to help with the reception. She was escorted by her third and fourth ex-husbands....
Before the big day a few friends of mine threw me a pool party and surpised me with a few former super models. They broke six of my ribs and that was just during the blowjob.
Some of my fellow Meth fiends came to the party and we took this photo.
So after the partying was done, it was off to the reception hall.....
My Uncle Shemp was already there waiting for us. He was picking up the tab for the reception.
We hired a great band that played Toby Keith songs all night.
And when it was all over, my bride and I were off on our honeymoon.
Our marriage seem to be fine. I was in line for a promotion to night manager at McDonalds. She would stay at home and raise any children we'd have. But then something went wrong. I found her one night putting a dildo up this guys ass. His name was Mike Meadows, local finocchio.
She said it didn't mean anything and that we needed the money. She then turned on me and said she was leaving me to be in an incestuous marriage with two twins and their mother.
I was devastated. But then I remembered I was a famous Muppet and could bang anyone I wanted. I didn't need to settle down with Gertie or her family. I was free to be who I was and what I wanted. I left our home.....
....and I moved I started dating
I gotta say that life is good. I've learned alot and now that I am writing and playing again I am content. My marriage taught me one important thing and that is I like Popeye's chicken much better than KFC, but we live and we learn. I have no regrets.
