Unattended Adult

So recently I went to the Lisle Library to update my blog.  I don't keep the internet at my house because I'd spend all day jerking myself off too...


So instead I go to the library and do my internet business.

As readers of my blog know I use pictures to help tell the story and sometimes these photo's can be offensive.  For example.....


Or overtly sexual and pornographic. For example......





So two ladies came up to me and asked me to log off the computer.  They pulled me aside and told me that some of the photo's I was looking up were not acceptable for the CHILDRENS SECTION of the library.  I was so embarrased.  Once I log on I tune out and wasn't even thinking about being in the children's section.  They told me they knew I wasn't watching porn or anything but that some parents had complained.

I turned red then white then red again.



They asked me if I had a child with me, to which I replied, "Of course not. When have you ever seen me here with a child?!"

They then referred to me as something that still resonates with shock and awe in my mind. A phrase that I had never heard before and was stunned that two librarians would call me such a name.

They told me that since I didn't have a child with me and I was in the childrens section of the library, then I was, "AN UNATTENDED ADULT"!!!!!

What the fuck is that?  An Unattended Adult. 

Did they just invent that phrase.  Do I need a child's guidance to go to the park, or to rent a kids movie or to enter the kids section of the library( btw- I sit in the kids section because their computers aren't littered with fat and smelly homeless adults pretending to use the computer to get out of the sun.)

Do I need to bring along a kid to go see a kid's movie now.

 NO ONE OVER THE AGE OF 6 WILL BE ADMITTED WITHOUT CHILD GUARDIAN



Fuck and I planned on seeing Madagascar 3 this weekend.  Does anyone have any kids I can rent because I am an Unattended Adult.