The Man Who Wasn't There

We live in a world where people hurt and murder children.

We feel such tragic and traumatic loss yet we have no one to reach out to.
No God would ever allow such violence and human suffering.
God is a coward hiding behind magic tricks and lies.

He does not lead us, nay he laughs.  He sits there never for a moment earning his role; his voice; his following.

He gave his only son!!  Well how many countless parents have had to do the same thing?  What makes God's sacrifice so special.

Jesus didn't suffer the destruction of Cancer, or the multiple bullet holes of crazed mass murderers.

What makes God so special.  What makes Jesus so special.

Nothing.

When every parent who has lost a child cries until the tears won't come anymore; God will still hide behind his curtain asking you to have faith.

Faith in what you fucking coward?  Faith in what?

You are an absentee landlord.  You are the estranged parent.  You are the man who wasn't there.

You're an illusion and I don't fall for your fucking tricks.

Go mop up the blood of a dozen small children.  Show yourself.  Earn it.

Or stay behind your curtain like a coward.

Most Obnoxious Singles Ad EVER!!!!! MUST READ

Destiny4145


I love art and I like trying to work on a little art each day. Do you also like visual art? Are you great at marketing or selling other's art work? I'd love help marketing my work as murals a little bit and I'd live to create art for children's rooms, children's books that I write, and art to hang on any walls. I also need help selling my artwork in other ways that we can talk about later! Do you know of any restaurants, homes, or venues of any kind that need artwork I make? Can you sell it for me to people? I'd offer you a set commission! Thanks!

Please describe and explain your work and side hobbies or projects that you know will make money. Life is about wealth! Did you see the Spanx tycoon? She has it all from one great idea! What is in your environment that you would like to improve and then create a business to cash in on? Fix your environment to meet people's needs! If you perceive something as a need within yourself like the Spanx tycoon, create the product and sell the idea because people needed Spanx and it was worth a ton!!! There are probably tons of products that all people need. What do you always need in your environment? Come up with what is missing and develop that product that you feel sells it's self through you because your entire soul and body knows you needed the product and all others start thinking about it and really understand what you mean! Find financial freedom and health, wealth, simple abundance and prosperity!

Treat me to dinner! Or treat me to a movie!

Let's exercise outside! Let's go running or biking! Or treat me to a temporary gym pass unless you pay for my long term gym pass!

Treat me to show where a band plays out! I love alternative indie or garage or retro 80's punk or industrial or ska band out! Or I love house music! Let's go out dancing!

Treat me to the ballet if I like the costumes. Ask me if I like the costumes!

Treat me to a book show at a bookstore. Meet me regularly at libraries or bookstores on campuses and I can do my writing and art at your side until you find what you are looking for in relationships! I love schools and libraries and bookstores!

Treat me to a museum! Treat me to the MCA Art Institute, Shedd, or the Planetarium and their singles nights!

Let's go to art gallery openings and art shows! Help my work to be in an art gallery!

CRAIGSLIST SEEKING...:Adult Content Version

Ok so I was browsing through Craigslist recently because I can and I don't owe you an explanation.  I love going through the "Seeking...." section to see whats up and I came to a realization.

There are maybe 2 Women Seeking Men posts a day.  A handful of Men Seeking Woman Posts, but there are almost constant MEN Seeking MEN posts.   It has led me to the conclusion that men, even the straight ones, will let anyone suck their dicks.

Men want to cum.  And they don't care if its another man who makes them do so.

There also seems to be a huge number of Straight guys who want to suck dick.  So lets face it, we're not all as straight as we like to claim or brag.

I mean the sheer number of men looking for other men would make one believe that 85% of the population is gay, but thats simply not true.  Men just want to experiment and if that means doing so with another man, then so be it.

Men want to Jerk Off, Suck, and watch Porn with other men.  Its a fact.  And most of the posts do not claim to be from Gay Men, rather many seem to be from Str8t Men.

So what does this tell us?

1. There are many more gay men out there than we think.
2. Men don't care who sucks their dicks.
3. Men are not only cheating on their spouses, but are doing so in a rather risky fashion with other men.  (And women thought they had to worry about  their BF or Husband screwing their best friend. LOL)
4. There is really no such thing as being "straight".

Maybe it's time for some people to get real.  I think Craigslist is amazing in its unintended revelation that a huge number of men really are interested in sexual encounters with other men.

Let's not be ashamed anymore.

PS- I am 100% straight and the thought of being with another man not only makes me sick, but also is against GOD.  Gay's should burn in hell and then be resurrected and then sent back to hell to burn again.  And no one can prove that this muppet ever sucked Kermits froggy cock, or Fozi's fuzzy dong.

Well back to the Men Seeking Men..., I mean Women Seeking Men ads....

Original Sin: Adult Content Version

Women are interesting creatures.  Lets think about this.

 In the Bible, God created man, then animal THEN woman.  Woman came after fucking animals.  That shows you were God's mind was.  Then Eve is born and commits the first sin.  Within weeks of being created a woman is already fucking up the planet. 

Then this puts God in the position to have to sacrifice his only child Jesus.  Jesus died for all of our sins.  But if Eve hadn't been such a cunt, there would be no sin, and Jesus would still be alive today performing card tricks and doing back flips on water.

I can imagine Jesus on the cross thinking to himself as the blood runs down his face, "That fucking bitch!"

You notice in the Middle East Bible, Allah just stopped after the creation of man and animal, because those backwards motherfuckers love fucking goats.  I mean a goat is allowed to roam free and have its face seen in public.

But those bearded motherfuckers must have pissed off Allah and he punished them by creating Middle Eastern women, whom the men hate so much they cover every fucking part of their body. The only thing thats allowed to show in public are their nostrils so they can breathe.  They have less rights than a goat and if they talk back to the men, they get shot in the head, or have their hands chopped off or their bodies set on fire.  I mean these guys really hate women.  Thank God God created animals for them.

Now in the early 70's Jim Henson created the Muppets.  They are all male except for one fat pig.  He knew the trouble the men would get in if there were too many female muppets around. Granted there was Janis from my band, but she was to busy eating pussy and shooting heroin to bother with men.  Fuck even Gonzo preferred chickens to women.  Miss Piggy was this fat, annoying chick whom you could fuck, but would never admit to your friends that you had.  And you certainly wouldn't date her. I mean who wants to date a fat pig?

Now lets move to the 1980's.  Hanna/Barbera created the Smurfs.  A group of blue men who got along and managed just fine.  Then their arch enemy Gargamel wanted to destroy them in the very first episode so what plan did he come up with?????  Send a FEMALE into their camp. 

He sent this dark haired evil woman, although saying evil woman is an oxymoron, but anyway he sends her into their camp and she fucks everything up.  The smurfs must have a great capacity for acceptance and understanding, because they turned her from a venomous brunette whore into a simple minded, stupid blonde named Smurfette.


As we see thoughout history from man, to muppet to smurf, women have been the cause and blame for an endless amount of pain, misery and suffering. 

What have we learned? 

Whispers

You say this guy
This guy's in love with you
Yes I'm in love
Who looks at you the way I do
When you smile
I can tell
We know eachother very well
How can I show you
I'm glad
I got to know you
'Cause

I've heard some talk
They say you think I'm fine
Yes I'm in love
And what I do to make you mine
Tell me now, is it so
Don't let me be the last to know
My hands are shaking
Don't let my heart be breaking
'Cause

I need your love
I want your love
Say you're in love, in love
With this guy
If not I'll just die

(Trumpet interlude)

Tell me now, is it so
Don't let me be the last to know
My hands are shaking
Don't let my heart be breaking
'Cause

I need your love
I want your love
Say you're in love, in love
With this guy
If not I'll just die

I Need Your Love

Sigh.....

Boy have I been feeling alone lately.  Sometimes its as if the world has perished and I am left to sweep up the mess.

I wonder if I am meant to wander this world solo.

I know I sound as if I am feeling sorry for myself, and maybe I am but I want someone to love.  I want someone to spend time with. I want someone to talk to.

Its been 6 days without her, and I know the pain will cease at some point, but right now I am angry and depressed.

I cannot write her name and I cannot blog about her because I made a promise.

But it sucks that I have not found my match in life.  It sucks that I go to school and then work and then home.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_nmx4HWhBc&feature=share

I am not sure God made someone for me.

But I ask God to please get back in the factory and create the love of my life.

Maybe SHE wasn't my match but someone's gotta be!!!!

I'm tired of waiting.  I'm tired of hoping....

I'm just tired.

Hot Chicks of the Day

Better Left Unsaid; Written or Shouted Preferred

There comes a time when every little golden haired boy who has a rideable choo choo train in his home to grow up.  Time when the arcade sized donkey kong game needs to be sold.  Time when you realize that you don't want to be friends with the black kid anymore from the Pepsi commercial because not only do you HATE PEPSI, but you also hate black people.

Your Dad is in jail and bankrupt and your now fucking his secretary, which became his girlfriend and then his wife.  But he's in jail so what the fuck does he know.

His accountant died of AIDS 20 years ago, and you thank God you didn't catch it as a result of that one night of curious experimentation.

You're pissed off that your best friend is now making funny movies while you barely register on the screen in straight to DVD Christian movies.

You had it all as a kid but now you have nothing.  Absolutely nothing, save for a couple of silver spoons......

Yeah, Ricky life's a fucking bitch.

Thanks-for nothing-Giving

So this year I will be spending Thanksgiving pouting and bitching, but I will be fucking this Indian Princess.

I guess I am thankful for Role Playing Hookers.

Why I Wanna F*** Guys

Ok, I am old enough to know that women are insane; that there is a reason God created them after animals. (Read Gensis people)

They are insane creatures of Middle Earth or a planet so distant this solar system. 

Recently I read a book, Men are From Venus Women Are From Hell, and it made everything make sense. Women are wired to be deranged, emotional stay at home moms with a non stop desire to nag and spend money.

There is a reason that Miss Piggy is the only female muppet and a fat fuck at that.  Think about it folks.  They needed one female for all of us to gang bang but also they wanted to limit their numbers at the Muppet Show.  Thank you glorious Jim Henson.

And by making Piggy fat, we'd be sure to only spunk in her face and not date her. Henson was a god damned god!!  Praise his name.

Here is a sample of an apology from a woman....

"I am sorry for what I did, but actually its all really your fault and you suck and you don't treat me right and you only use me for sex."

From where I stand today women are merely there for target practice.  Either shoot 'em in the head or spunk in their eyes and run like hell while they''re blinded.

I wish that God would turn me gay for Christmas this year so that I can no longer yearn for the touch and love of woman. 

The Doctor is In.......

Well I took six weeks off to reevaluate my blog and my blog habits and I decided that I don't write this blog for the benefit of you, nay I write it for my own personal, theraputic, controversial, and destructive self. 

Sure I can be funny

And I can also be controversial...


And of course I can also be sexy...




I can be a lot of things, but in the end I really just got to be me.  An unpatriotic, self destructive, paranoid, sexually aggressive, anti-God, furry fucking muppet. Its who I am and it's who I'll forever be.

Regards-

Doctor Teeth

The Dying Blog

To my friends and foes-

There seems to be a dramatic decrease in people reading my blog.  What have I done to spurn you all?  Have my entries not been funny, controversial, insightful, and bashful?

What is it you want from a Muppet?

Would you like me to write about recipes and fall fashions?
Would you like me to write about celebrities ala TMZ?

Would you like me to get political and talk about Obama/Romney?

Give me a fucking clue!!!! 

Maybe you just want dirty pictures.


Well you can get the fudge out of hea!!!

WWE: Jesus vs Santa and Easter Bunny

In this corner weighing 116 lbs, the son of our Creator.....JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!

(Jesus Christ is a personal friend of Mel Gibson
and recently came back to Earth to visit Mel on
the set of his latest film.)

And in this corner weighing 186 lbs, the furriest and tallest bunny on earth......EASTER BUNNY!!!!!

(Unbenownst to the Easter Bunny, media whore
Barack Obama tried to crash his press conference.
The Easter Bunny ended up tossing the Pres. over
the railing.)

And finally in this corner, weighing 245 lbs and suffering end stage diabetes is.... SANTA CLAUS!!!



This is a winner takes all match.  No time limit.  No rules.

Jesus Christ comes out of the corner and immediately starts talking shit to Easter and Santa, "You bastards have taken away MY holidays and I'm gonna win them back."

Santa retorts, "More kids love me than you. To them Christmas is all about Santa and presents."

Easter Bunny chimes in, "And Easter is all about Easter eggs and candy!  Why bum people out with your death."

Jesus throws a chair, "But you two aren't even real.  You are made up!!!!"

Santa and Easter Bunny look at each other a moment then break out laughing! "Hawahahahahahahahahbabababaahahaahahaaa!!!!!!!!!"

Santa has Jesus in a headlock, "Oh and I suppose you really can walk on water my friend."


The Easter Bunny grabs Jesus from behind and holds him while Santa plunges a barbed wire wrapped piece of wood into his ribs.


Jesus is losing strength fast.

Santa, "No one wants to be bothered with your religous bullshit when they are opening Xbox 360's and Bratz Dolls on Christmas morning."

Santa cracks five of Jesus's ribs.

Jesus cries out, "Forgive them for they know not what they do!!!!"

Easter Bunny shoves a bunch of jelly beans in Jesus's mouth, "Shut the fuck up son of nothing!!"

Santa, "You are such a narcissist Jesus.  Everything is about you and your sacrifice.  No one cares!! They'd rather open gifts, chase easter eggs and gobble up goodies. Why don't you go take over Thanksgiving or Independence Day you buzz kill!!!!"

Santa and Easter Bunny begin repeatedly kicking Jesus in the ribs until Jesus stops moving.



The match is over.  SANTA and EASTER BUNNY have saved Christmas and Easter from JESUS CHRIST!!!!  The Crowd goes wild!!!!!!!!!



The Easter Bunny and Santa give each other a hug.  But suddenly Santa stops and says, "Why should I only get one holiday when I can have two?"

Easter Bunny replies, "Why do you think you deserve two?  Look at how fat you are. Its clear you'll be dead in six months."

Santa, "There is only one way to settle this my furry little friend....."


"What an amazing night we've had at the Garden.  A bloodbath like no other.  A first in the history of the WWE.  This is Mean Jean Okerland.......goodnight!"

The Worst Drummer Ever

The Worst Drummer Ever....

Scott was someone who I played with for a few years.  He used to play "air drums" to many songs during car trips or just when sitting around the fire.  Then one day in 1995 he decided to buy a used drum set.  He played on that drumset for a week before his brother (twin brother) decided to let him join the two of us on stage for future gigs.  I was in shock, "Man, we've been practicing in your basement for two years before we had the balls to play live!!"  I couldn't believe that I would be sharing the stage with someone with ZERO EXPERIENCE, and once he got up on stage to play live I realized he had NO CAPABLITY to play.  That is the big secret everyone is in on but him.  We have all talked extensively about his lack of  talent.  And to go out on stage with him time after time to be embarassed, was just too much.  It got to the point where I would go on stage alone to play a few songs so the audience knew that when I sucked it was because of THE WORST DRUMMER EVER.  He couldn't keep a beat or rythm, even to the most basic songs, but it didn't matter because he played "air drums" for years to Pearl Jam's TEN album, so of course he was a fucking pro.  He also had a twin brother who was his fucking door mat and would do whatever he demanded.  I of course, had zero say.

And what I loved was that during gigs he'd get pissed because he's got serious mental issues, and for many years a horrible cocaine habit, so he'd just get up and walk off stage in mid-song.  He did this all the time.  But his brother continued to defend and allow him to play. 

It wasn't until many years later, when his brother started playing in a more notable band in good venues that Scott was slowly exorcised from the group.  What stuns me the most about Scott is that I could understand him sucking after only 1 week or two months, but to still suck 17 years later takes REAL FUCKING TALENT!!!

Thank God I don't have to play with him anymore. I just wish that I had some recordings to show people when in need of a good laugh. 

EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!

4 out of 5 Dentists Surveyed

Back in the 1980's commercials for sugar free gum used to always feature the claim, "Four out of five dentists surveyed....", meaning that four out of every five dentists liked or encouraged the use of the gum.  What always got me stirred up was this fifth dentist.

I mean what the fuck is your problem?  Are you trying to be difficult? Don't you wanna be part of the group?

I always wanted to tie the fifth dentist up in my house and just throw feces at him. 

He's the dude in school who always started arguements and never got along with anyone, so as an adult he figured he'd have his revenge by not supporting the same gum that four other Dentists support.

He's the reason jury's become deadlocked and rapists go free.
\
ROMAN POLANSKI


I say that we hunt out all of the 5th Dentists in this country and put them into camps. The should be forced into hard labor.




The same thing goes for that fifth Doctor.  What a fucking cocksucker.  Fuck You.  You just gotta be different don't you.  A rebel.  More like an asshole.

FUPA: A Celebration

Women have it, Men deal with it.  Its known as the FUPA.

F. fucked
U. up
P. pussy
A. Area

Its that blog of flab below the stomach and above the vag that women try to tuck under their belts.



Usually this scientific oddity is a result of pregancy or too many Whoppers while watching Oprah.

This is a photo of me and my girlfriend Blair.  She had an enormous FUPA.


The thing I like most about the FUPA is that when I'm having sex I am like a cat and I knead my hands in the "dough" while thrusting.  I like to grab it and pull it and sometimes take bites out of it.

Sometimes I will grab onto the FUPA with both hands and use it as a way to pull myself into the woman, gaining thrusting momentum.

This woman has something called a FUBA......or Fucked Up Bloated Ass


This is just deranged.  This woman had to have known at some point that Dorito's and Ice Cream Sandwiches are not major food groups.

OMG What the FUCK!!!!!!!!


America, we have a new enemy. Its the FUPA.  56% of all American Women own a FUPA.

I am starting a movement to end all FUPA's.  Ban the FUPA!!!!!



Why does GOD harm us? Is he angry? Is he vengeful? 

F.U.P.A in the USA.
F.U.P.A. in the USA.

Come on John Mellencamp sing that shit!!!!!!

The Vatican Does Not Endorse This Blog

Dr. Teeth here with a word from our sponsor......

The Surgeon General in conjunction with 4 out of 5 dentists, the fifth being a fucking jerk, have come together to release Health Information regarding this blog page.

50 % of the people who come here won't come back.

70% of the people who read this blog will be entertained.

30% of the people who read this blog will be disgusted.

3% of the readers will die.

98.9% of my ex's will be discussed or disseminated on this site. 

25% of the blogs here may cause cancer.

34% of the blogs here will cause pre-mature ejaculation.

12% of the content of this blog will be 80% gross.

1 out of 4 people will tell their friends about this blog.

45 foreign nations will go to war because of this blog.

The Vatican does not endorse this blog.

The United States has distanced itself from this blog.



Reading this blog caused me to develop anal tumors, thus ending my life on April 1st, 1954.  The newspapers regarded it as the sickest and cruelest April Fool's joke ever perpetrated on family members.

Dr. Teeth a Black Panther

The late 60's was a time of change.  We got into a kinds of crazy shit back then.  I orginally looked like this.....

But after many many many LSD trips, either I or the world around me started looking like this.....


(Thats me on the far right)

There was Vietnam, Malcolm X, The Beatles were breaking up and I felt lost.  So lost in fact that I spent the summer of 1969 living in Chicago. I moved in with this guy...

His name was Fred Hampton and because of him I unknowingly became part of the BLACK PANTHER PARTY!!!!!

I thought it was some sort of Book Club, but shit was I wrong.  We was revolutionaries.

We was black motherfuckin' militants who looked like the Isley Brothers or cast members of Soul Train.  We didn't fuck around wit no "pigs".

And I don't mean this pig.


I mean we took our Black Rage out on Police Officers.


But by the fall of 1969, I got bored with these guys. They spent to much time talking in rhyme.

I also had been called back to my band for a fall tour with The Monkee's.

The last I heard the surviving members of the Black Panther Party either landed acting roles on Good Times and the Jeffersons or had formed a musical group called NEW EDITION.


I plan on writing a book about my time in The Black Panthers, but am still under the fear that I will be shot and killed for the things I may reveal.

If I am killed writing this book, it's this nigga who shot me...

The Death Of Kemit the Frog Aug 20th, 2012

TMZ broke the news this morning that Kermit the Frog had died.  He was a freind of mine.

TMZ reports that Kermit was killed in a Mexican Gangland Murder.


He had been in a drunken rage for days following the news that there would be no MUPPET sequel.  His gambling debts far exceeded the money he made on that movie.  Kermit got into an argument with some Mexican kids over a $40 debt.

This gang, known for disgusting decapitations all over Mexico,....

Photograph taken of 80's Boy Band, MENUDO, killed when they got the lyrics to a song wrong.

...claimed that Kermit owed them $40 for losing at a game of darts. Kermit was heard shouting, "Kiss my green fucking froggy ass you spic cocksuckers!!!!", as they dragged him away.

He was dragged out by his frog leg and taken to the railroad tracks.  They beat the life out of him.




Kermit was last seen rising from the dead, looking like this....



US Authorities have contacted these two men to "handle" the situation.



More news as TMZ reports.......

The Good Doctor Knows Everything

Dr. Teeth is returning to school.  Some people have asked, "Why do you need to if you already know everything?", which is a great question, but I am going back to further gain my knowledge of everything.



They have a series of classes....

Introduction to Knowing Everything
Knowing Everything 101
Knowing What You Already Know
Knowing Everyone Else Is Wrong
Knowing Is Not Half the Battle, Its The Entire Battle
Knowing Everything For Dummies


I will be taking these classes which will teach me nothing because I already know everything.  But it'll be good for them to have a celebrity Muppet such as myself having taken their program.

Then when I'm done I will teach the program, and get a building named after myself.


The Dr. Teeth Building of Knowing Everything



.......In other news Kermit the Frog is DEAD!