Dear Mr. DeNiro-
Hi, I'm Doctor Teeth....from the Muppets. I hope this day is finding you well. I want to let you know that I am a huge fan of your work, at least I was, but I have one question to ask you...
What the fuck happened to you?
I understand that after years of being in amazing movies for very little pay, you decided to grab the paycheck by appearing in dreadful shit. But couldn't you balance some good stuff with some of the crap? I mean you don't make anything but pure shitty garbage now. Have you lost your passion for acting?
Killing Season, Freelancers, Big Wedding, Last Vegas, The Family..... do I really need to go on?
What the fuck is that matter with you? I hear that you are thinking about rebooting the Police Academy franchise and that you want to star as the robot in a reboot of Short Circuit.
You have turned into a laughable, untalented hack. Why? For awhile you released some crap and people forgave you, but now you are known as a guy who is ONLY in crap. And when once your name meant something in a cast listing, it now means STAY AWAY!!!
Why? Who is your agent and why aren't they dead?
Has Al Pacino, Jack Nicholson, Harvey Keitel and Martin Scorsese even tried to host an intervention?
I know you're 70, but its not too late to make at least two more great movies. Tell Marty you'll work for free in his next film. Maybe consider a Sopranos. Breaking Bad, Dexter type TV series. Who would have thought that Bryan Cranston would best you in the acting department. He was the fucking dad on Malcolm in the Middle for fuck's sake.
Please Mr. DeNiro.......hope is not lost.
Thank You-
Doctor Teeth
PS: Happy Holidays
