Friday, September 20, 2013

Collecting Cat Life Insurance.

So Doctor Teeth here....

I had a knock on my door this morning.  It was the police.  They wanted to bring me in for questioning because so many cats have gotten sick or died under my care. They think I may be poisoning them in order to get the insurance money.

I told them repeatedly that the cats have no life insurance.  And since we live in America, they have no insurance at all.

I asked them if Obama Care covered veterinary expenses, but they didn't know. What the fuck do the police know anyway?

I asked them if they had anything better to do than harass a muppet with a horrible bath salt addiction when 13 people were shot in one fell swoop in Chicago last night.  They said that Rahm Emanuel had it covered by giving a speech with big words in it.

I told them they should drop a fucking bucket of chicken in the middle of ground zero and maybe the shooting will stop.  They didn't like my racist joke, but I don't like gangbangers using innocent people as target practice.

Maybe if they stopped holding the gun sideways, they'd hit their intended target, but they're too fucking stupid. If they hold the gun the correct way then they aren't emulating their favorite rap stars. Do you think 50 Cent would hold the gun correctly?  No fucking way. Don't be so fucking stupid.

Maybe there are black cats coming into my apartment and harming my cats.

I'm sure of it.

Anyway I ranted so long to the police, they forgot to arrest me and left without incident.


How cute that the little boy is learning to hold a gun, but he's holding it all wrong.  Its not sideways. If he keeps that up he'll end up hitting his intended target.  His uncle on the right is doing it right.


A for effort.....

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Ashes Gets Sick:My Plea

Watching your cat get sick is awful. The worry about his life, his health and his possible death is a lot to handle. And if you're financially walking a tight-rope that adds to the stress and pressure.

Ashes has blood in his urine and appears to have a bladder infection. He went to the vet and is on antibiotics.  He should be fine, although at 13 years old this is part of being old.

But I am writing this because I had a cat die last year then seven months later another cat died, and now 6 months after that I have a very sick cat.

I expected Ashes to die before Zoe and Daniel, but it was not meant to be that way, but now Ashes is sick so what the hell is going on?!!!!

I am worried, enraged and sick.  I am resentful, tired, and lost. I am doing the equation of how much money I am willing to or can spend on Ashes before I am faced with throwing in the towel.  But first things first. If he bounces back, then no worries.....for now.

I am really traumatized by Daniels death still and having to suck urine through a syringe out of a litter box, force feed medication and stare at the litter box again to make sure Ashes is peeing is bringing back dreadful and painful memories.

Once again the litter box is in the bedroom next to the bed so I can see and hear every time Ashes goes to the bathroom. (With two cats its hard to tell who is doing what)

If I could just get a bit of a break from having to deal with cat medical issues I would be so grateful.

Please, just leave me alone for awhile.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

My First Gay Experience

It has taken years for me to get up the nerve to write about my first gay experience.....

It was the summer of 2004 and I was living alone in Van Nuys when......






GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!!  You suckers!!!