Death of a Friend: Jim

The text read, "Jim T**l died today."

I was stunned, and after a week of stress and anxiety it was the excuse I needed to start crying all over myself.

Jim was gone.  Jim is gone. 

The finality of it rivals even the hardest of cements. 
The blow to my heart, rivals the biggest heart breaks.

I hadn't been in touch with Jim during most of his cancer battle, and got updates through his brother Rob, but Jim was and is a good friend with a heart of gold.

He was an overweight, Hippie-type Dead Head, who loved his Ganj, and having a good time.

The cancer had robbed him of his robust look, and took from us a great soul.

During a viewing of The Grateful Dead Movie, I ran into his brother Rob who gave me Jim's number and told me to call him.  He said Jim would be excited to hear from me.

I tucked the number into my contact list and forgot about it.  But the times I did remember I was afraid of making that call; resisting acknowledging Jim's cancer.  I was afraid to talk about it.

In my mind, Jim would beat cancer and live to tell the tale of his struggle and to show off his weight loss.
In my mind, ignoring it would make it go away.

But the problem didn't go away.....Jim did.

In 40 short years, Jim lived and Jim died. 

His death takes me back to the death of Kelly Hayes, gone at 19.
His death forces me to acknowledge mortality.
His death makes me hurt.
His death makes me cry.
His death makes me angry.

His death has made the world a quieter, and less amusing place.
And his death dims the light in my soul just a tiny bit more.


I am sorry Jim.  I am sorry you had to suffer.  I am sorry you had to die.  I am sorry you are not here anymore, and I'm sorry I never called.

But the day after he passed I did call.  I nervously listened to his phone ring; expecting for it to go directly to voice mail, but it didn't.

I heard him speak his final words to me, "This is Jim, leave a message."

Oh Jim, there isn't enough room for the message I wanna leave you now. 

How The Taliban Won

So Bin Laden planned to have 19 Hi-jackers board airplanes and fly them into the WTC, Pentagon, and The White House.  The plan succeeded save for the White House when Flight 93 was crashed, by the passengers in a revolt*.  There are many who refute that, and say the flight was shot down.

Bush promised, "We can't let the terrorists win.", but in the 11 years since, they have won way more than Bin Laden could ever have planned or imagined.

Since 911, we have gotten into at least 3 wars which have killed scores of Americans as well as cost us so much money, we'll never recoup the loss.

The Patriot Act was created which gave the goverment powers unpresedented.  They can now spy on what we seach for on computers, and what we rent and borrow at libraries from books, to magazines to movies.

In the beginning we duct taped our windows, bought gas masks, and feared flying.  To this day, many people are wary of flying.  We now have Air Marshalls on every flight.

People are on constant edge when in flight.

At the airports, we are getting searched, our shoes taken off and body scans happening which are resulting in anger, rage and controversey into how far those in charge can go and when our rights are being violated.

Obama took office and continued to involve us in Middle Eastern issues.
He never closed Guantanamo.
And he didn't even think to touch or change or retract the Patriot Act.

Our rights and way have life have changed.  Our lives are subject to invasive searches and fear.

In some ways the lucky people died on 911, not having to bare witness to what this country has become, or how our freedoms have eroded and continue to erode.

We killed Bin Laden....so what.  Their hold on us is firm and never-ending.

Bin Laden won alot more than he ever conceived on 911.

And since then we have put a greater and bigger target on our backs.

So 911 as shocking, but the extent of the victory is still revealing itself.

Its my sad perspective and my sad reality on the situation.

The Bible: The Lord of Twilight Unchained

They should take the Bible and turn it into 5 teeny bopper movies ala Twilight.
Or Peter Jackson should turn it into a 70 hour, 20 part movie that will be in 3D and at 68 fps.
Or maybe Quentin Tarantino could turn it into a Biblical Blaxploitation film with a heavy Soul and Funk Soundtrack and Sam Jackson as Moses who calls everyone Niggar.

Quentin Tarantino could make an amazing Bible Movie. 

 

We are in 2013 and the saga of Gay Marriage continues to take up space in our mind and news.  If your pro-gay, your labeled a liberal.  If you are anti-gay, you're a moron.

 

Why do you care who people sleep with or couple up with or marry?

 

No one can ever prove that God exists, Jesus existed, or that the Bible is authentic. 

 

So stop basing your lives and ruining others based on a book. 

 

And go fuck yourself.

The Man Who Wasn't There

We live in a world where people hurt and murder children.

We feel such tragic and traumatic loss yet we have no one to reach out to.
No God would ever allow such violence and human suffering.
God is a coward hiding behind magic tricks and lies.

He does not lead us, nay he laughs.  He sits there never for a moment earning his role; his voice; his following.

He gave his only son!!  Well how many countless parents have had to do the same thing?  What makes God's sacrifice so special.

Jesus didn't suffer the destruction of Cancer, or the multiple bullet holes of crazed mass murderers.

What makes God so special.  What makes Jesus so special.

Nothing.

When every parent who has lost a child cries until the tears won't come anymore; God will still hide behind his curtain asking you to have faith.

Faith in what you fucking coward?  Faith in what?

You are an absentee landlord.  You are the estranged parent.  You are the man who wasn't there.

You're an illusion and I don't fall for your fucking tricks.

Go mop up the blood of a dozen small children.  Show yourself.  Earn it.

Or stay behind your curtain like a coward.

Most Obnoxious Singles Ad EVER!!!!! MUST READ

Destiny4145


I love art and I like trying to work on a little art each day. Do you also like visual art? Are you great at marketing or selling other's art work? I'd love help marketing my work as murals a little bit and I'd live to create art for children's rooms, children's books that I write, and art to hang on any walls. I also need help selling my artwork in other ways that we can talk about later! Do you know of any restaurants, homes, or venues of any kind that need artwork I make? Can you sell it for me to people? I'd offer you a set commission! Thanks!

Please describe and explain your work and side hobbies or projects that you know will make money. Life is about wealth! Did you see the Spanx tycoon? She has it all from one great idea! What is in your environment that you would like to improve and then create a business to cash in on? Fix your environment to meet people's needs! If you perceive something as a need within yourself like the Spanx tycoon, create the product and sell the idea because people needed Spanx and it was worth a ton!!! There are probably tons of products that all people need. What do you always need in your environment? Come up with what is missing and develop that product that you feel sells it's self through you because your entire soul and body knows you needed the product and all others start thinking about it and really understand what you mean! Find financial freedom and health, wealth, simple abundance and prosperity!

Treat me to dinner! Or treat me to a movie!

Let's exercise outside! Let's go running or biking! Or treat me to a temporary gym pass unless you pay for my long term gym pass!

Treat me to show where a band plays out! I love alternative indie or garage or retro 80's punk or industrial or ska band out! Or I love house music! Let's go out dancing!

Treat me to the ballet if I like the costumes. Ask me if I like the costumes!

Treat me to a book show at a bookstore. Meet me regularly at libraries or bookstores on campuses and I can do my writing and art at your side until you find what you are looking for in relationships! I love schools and libraries and bookstores!

Treat me to a museum! Treat me to the MCA Art Institute, Shedd, or the Planetarium and their singles nights!

Let's go to art gallery openings and art shows! Help my work to be in an art gallery!

CRAIGSLIST SEEKING...:Adult Content Version

Ok so I was browsing through Craigslist recently because I can and I don't owe you an explanation.  I love going through the "Seeking...." section to see whats up and I came to a realization.

There are maybe 2 Women Seeking Men posts a day.  A handful of Men Seeking Woman Posts, but there are almost constant MEN Seeking MEN posts.   It has led me to the conclusion that men, even the straight ones, will let anyone suck their dicks.

Men want to cum.  And they don't care if its another man who makes them do so.

There also seems to be a huge number of Straight guys who want to suck dick.  So lets face it, we're not all as straight as we like to claim or brag.

I mean the sheer number of men looking for other men would make one believe that 85% of the population is gay, but thats simply not true.  Men just want to experiment and if that means doing so with another man, then so be it.

Men want to Jerk Off, Suck, and watch Porn with other men.  Its a fact.  And most of the posts do not claim to be from Gay Men, rather many seem to be from Str8t Men.

So what does this tell us?

1. There are many more gay men out there than we think.
2. Men don't care who sucks their dicks.
3. Men are not only cheating on their spouses, but are doing so in a rather risky fashion with other men.  (And women thought they had to worry about  their BF or Husband screwing their best friend. LOL)
4. There is really no such thing as being "straight".

Maybe it's time for some people to get real.  I think Craigslist is amazing in its unintended revelation that a huge number of men really are interested in sexual encounters with other men.

Let's not be ashamed anymore.

PS- I am 100% straight and the thought of being with another man not only makes me sick, but also is against GOD.  Gay's should burn in hell and then be resurrected and then sent back to hell to burn again.  And no one can prove that this muppet ever sucked Kermits froggy cock, or Fozi's fuzzy dong.

Well back to the Men Seeking Men..., I mean Women Seeking Men ads....

Original Sin: Adult Content Version

Women are interesting creatures.  Lets think about this.

 In the Bible, God created man, then animal THEN woman.  Woman came after fucking animals.  That shows you were God's mind was.  Then Eve is born and commits the first sin.  Within weeks of being created a woman is already fucking up the planet. 

Then this puts God in the position to have to sacrifice his only child Jesus.  Jesus died for all of our sins.  But if Eve hadn't been such a cunt, there would be no sin, and Jesus would still be alive today performing card tricks and doing back flips on water.

I can imagine Jesus on the cross thinking to himself as the blood runs down his face, "That fucking bitch!"

You notice in the Middle East Bible, Allah just stopped after the creation of man and animal, because those backwards motherfuckers love fucking goats.  I mean a goat is allowed to roam free and have its face seen in public.

But those bearded motherfuckers must have pissed off Allah and he punished them by creating Middle Eastern women, whom the men hate so much they cover every fucking part of their body. The only thing thats allowed to show in public are their nostrils so they can breathe.  They have less rights than a goat and if they talk back to the men, they get shot in the head, or have their hands chopped off or their bodies set on fire.  I mean these guys really hate women.  Thank God God created animals for them.

Now in the early 70's Jim Henson created the Muppets.  They are all male except for one fat pig.  He knew the trouble the men would get in if there were too many female muppets around. Granted there was Janis from my band, but she was to busy eating pussy and shooting heroin to bother with men.  Fuck even Gonzo preferred chickens to women.  Miss Piggy was this fat, annoying chick whom you could fuck, but would never admit to your friends that you had.  And you certainly wouldn't date her. I mean who wants to date a fat pig?

Now lets move to the 1980's.  Hanna/Barbera created the Smurfs.  A group of blue men who got along and managed just fine.  Then their arch enemy Gargamel wanted to destroy them in the very first episode so what plan did he come up with?????  Send a FEMALE into their camp. 

He sent this dark haired evil woman, although saying evil woman is an oxymoron, but anyway he sends her into their camp and she fucks everything up.  The smurfs must have a great capacity for acceptance and understanding, because they turned her from a venomous brunette whore into a simple minded, stupid blonde named Smurfette.


As we see thoughout history from man, to muppet to smurf, women have been the cause and blame for an endless amount of pain, misery and suffering. 

What have we learned?