Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Comments

I invite and encourage comments on my different posts. It lets me know you're reading and it lets me know who you are and where you're reading from.

Please leave a note, an joke, an insult or some money.

Thanks-

Dr. Teeth

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Dry Mind and Sizzurp

You know this great and amusing shit doesn't always flow out of Dr. Teeth's mind.  It takes inspiration or Sizzurp.

Let's start with Sizzurp. What the fuck is wrong with these black Rap Artists.  They need to get high off of $10 worth of Robitussin? 

This ugly motherfucker just got out of the hospital because he Od'd on the Sizzurp. 

You know what I am instituting a rule right now, its called Cough Syrup, not Sizzurp And its 50 Cents not Fiddy Cent.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now lets talk about the gangland activity in Chicago.  We keep getting these reports that the person shot this time was, "not the intended target"., and this explains why there are so many gangbangers.  They are so fucking bad at shooting that they kill everyone but themselves.  I say start an after school program on target practice.  Teach these young boys how to hit their intended targets.



My bad, I didn't mean this type of gang-banger, I mean this type...


I don't understand why Rap stars can't take advantage of their fame and fortunes and leave the Ghetto living behind.  They still wanna engage in Feuds, gun carrying, cough syrup overdosing and sending a bad message to the black youth of America, all while reconfirming why so many people have racial issues with black people to begin with.

Once they change their attitudes maybe then will white people change their's. 

Oh no Dr. Teeth is a fucking racist....no Dr. Teeth isn't afraid to speak the truth.  When we avoid the difficult truths, progess is at a standstill.

What's the name of that one black muppet?


That's right there were no black fucking muppets.  Do the math folks. Do the mothafuckin' math.

Peace 5000

Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Next Phase

Oh life marches onward.  Looking at the horizon of 40 years.  Feeling tired and unable to rebound like I used to back in the 20's.

Friends are starting to die, parents especially are starting to fade. 

What I wouldn't give for a syringe of 1984 if only for ten minutes.

I am a drug addict but I seek no drug more than I seek the innocence of life I felt back in the early 80's.  If they could bottle that up.  I'd sacrifice 20 years of my life to take it.

Life gets so much more blunt and real. So much more grey and raw.

I am weighed down and looking for relief.  But where is it too come from?
Where am I going?

Don't ask anymore.......

Friday, March 1, 2013

Princess Leia the Hutt

We all age. Its a fact. But what the fuck happened to Princess Leia?  I think that at some point in Return of the Jedi, Jabba drugged her and stuck his fat, Hutt cock into her and they created a baby.  The baby was secretly delivered in the Ewok village and kept hidden from view .


Princess Leia the Hutt was on the today show to discuss paternity.

As we can see from the picture below Leia the Hutt even sits in a similar pose as her father Jabba.

She just lacks the opium pipe and the little sidekick.

Maury Povich - You Claimed To Be A Real N*gga
On a recent episode of Maury Povich it was revealed that Princess Leia and Jabba were also the parents of this guy....





Kevin Smith was unable to return our calls here at Blogitaboutit becuase he was giving Jason Mewes a Dirty Sanchez.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Another Return of the Jedi

I am suprised that someone hasn't come along and rebooted that shitty STAR WARS franchise.  I guess its because George Lucas clung to it like Gollum to the ring.  But now that Disney has found a way to pry it from his cold dead fingers, maybe, although doubtful, the franchise will get a new lease on life.

I remember the first 10 seconds back in 1999 when The Phantom Menace started and realized, "Oh fuck this is going to suck!", staring at the screen watching these two Bishop looking Asian aliens talking through rubber masks.  I knew we had waited 16 years for nothing.



Then we got Attack of the Clones, which is easily one of the worst movies ever made.  But Revenge of the Sith did make a slight come back by giving us a dark and ugly, violent end to a shit saga.

After watching the latest 3 installments, I went back and watched the original 3, and let me tell you, as an adult I realized even those three movies sucked.  Actually, to be honest, Empire Strikes Back was good.  But the other two "original" movies were packed with poor pacing, bad acting, and bad writing.  Jedi was like a fucking muppet show movie in space.  I'm a muppet and even I am saying that.

I don't know if the new trilogy ruined the original, or if I just grew up and realized that as an adult these movies sucked. I certainly was obsessed with them as a child, and I always fucking hated Star Trek and that pussy fucking world.

And then Lucas, that fat fucking piece of shit cocksucker, went back and re-edited the original trilogy and it was then that I knew this was a communist pig fucking piece of self absorbed shit.

I couldn't believe what he did to the Max Reebo band, or that he edited in Hayden Christiansen into that final shot, although the other Jedi's who died reappear as they looked at death, nope, Anakin was the only one to reappear as he looked in his youth. (George Lucas was such a fuckhead that he actually created a flaw and/or logic error in the film)

I don't mind making the explosions look bigger, but the other shit was unforgivable. 

If ever there was a filmmaker who hated his fans, its PigFace Lucas. 

And now there is word that new films are being made. Whoopee, at least if they suck, they won't be Lucas bad, they'll just be bad.  Or God forbid they might be good.

To focus on specific characters bums me out. Like turning Boba Fett into a Iron Man sort of trilogy would be bad news.  Or a film about Yoda.  To Sleep it put me will......

What they could do is interweave three stories each focusing on one character and blend them into a three picture scenario.  That might be cool.

Or they can make a movie about how Lucas destroyed one of the most promising and popular franchises ever.


Hey I just realized its been more than a year since a Star Wars movie came out, shouldn't George Lucas be changing something....oh wait.....he doesn't fucking own them anymore. LOL!!!

Fuck you George.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Geriatric Action Hero's

Ok this rambling bitch and piss fest is for a few "actors" in Hollywood that just don't get it.

Arnold, Sly, Bruce, I am fucking talking too you guys.

Bruce...58 years old
Sly.....66 years old
Arnold....65 years old.

What the fuck is the matter with you guys still doing Action Movies. 

First of all the Action Movie genre is pretty much dead, just look at Jason Statham.  He is young yet his shit still tanks at the box office.

Die Hard 5 is a piece of shit movie doing shit business at the box office.  This time its not just Bruce's age, but the only thing that makes it a Die Hard movie is the fucking title.

Stallone came out with a forgotten movie recently that made like $40.
Arnold's big come back movie flopped in January, the dumping ground for Hollywood.

Now conspiracy therorists will say there is an Expendables curse, but the problem is we have SENIOR CITIZENS trying to save the day.

You're old, thats ok!! Go collect your AARP card, buy a cane, and eat fucking oatmeal, I don't care, just stop making these action movies.  No one cares to see you break a hip and fracture your pelvis getting out of a car.

 
Now I hear Arnold is coming back for Terminator 5.  Unless its a fucking cartoon, I don't see how this is possible.  Why the fuck would John Conner send a 65 year old looking Terminator back in time to save the planet? And how many fucking times do you need to send Arnold back in time before you realize the plan doesn't work and the planet can't be saved!?!?!?!?!!



It's time to do something different guys. At least Bruce can act.  Sly and Arnold, let's call it a day.  Quit embarassing yourselves.



Monday, February 25, 2013

Oscar Oscar Oscar

No I am not referring to my crabby green homeless Muppet friend, but to the once a year let's jerk each other off Oscar fest, or a Night of Pure Self Indulgence.

I didn't watch the show as I am sure it was as long and boring as Best Picture Nomination LINCOLN.  And speaking of Lincoln, when that film came out everyone was like, "this is the greatest picture ever!!", but by last night, everyone seemed to hate it or Speilberg, I'm not sure which.

Best Supporting Actor:
Christoph Waltz-  Give me a break.  Yes he was good in Django, actually he was the best part of that bloated, offensive, many times boring film.  But to think he won over Phillip Seymour Hoffman for The Master, a film I did not like, but an undeniably powerful performance.  And Waltz just won for Tarantino's crapfest Inglorious Basturds (sic) two years ago.

Best Actor- Everyone knew it was going to be Daniel Day Lewis, so no suprise, but in truth the award should have gone to Joaquin Phoenix for the Master.  I mean what a performance.  Daniel only did an imitation of a man, while Joaquin embodied a person.

Best Supporting Actress- Anne Hathaway for LES MIS or as I call it, The Miserable Lesbian.  I was shocked she beat out Sally Field in Lincoln, again I hated the movie, but I thought Field was a shoo-in.  I haven't seen Les Mis but have heard that its just a so-so film.  Hathaway should have been nominated for Dark Knight Rises.

Best Actress- This was a hard one, because the category was littered with new comers and young ladies.  But keeping with tradition, Hollywoods sexist attitude loves to give the award to a young, fuckable new comer.  And since she lost 2 years ago, Jennifer Lawrence was given the award for Silver Linings Playbook; a very good movie that I don't think deserved any of the nominations in got. 

Best Director- Ang Lee, otherwise known as the guy who directed Hulk and Surviving Woodstock.  I didn't think Life of Pi resonated with many people, but slowly it did.  I will never understand how you can win best director but not best picture and vice versa, but this award was the second to last FUCK YOU to Steven Spielberg of the night.  Again, I thought Spielberg was a shoo-in, but in reality it was his tamest and safest movie ever. 

Best Picture- Argo.  Everyone knew Argo would take this!! Ben Affleck got fucked in the ass by the Academy so to be fair and spread things out (The Academy is historically guilty of either giving all the awards to one film, or spreading them out to many), they gave Argo Best Picture, which it certainly was.  No one really wants to admit that Lincoln was as boring as a C-Span debate.  But Argo was the final FUCK YOU to Speilberg and Lincoln. 

Of course Best Song was going to go to Skyfall.
I wasn't suprised that best Animated Pic went to Brave, but box office results and longevity proved that Wreck It Ralph should have won, but whatever.

Early in 2012 everyone talked about the documentary BULLY, but it wasn't even nominated, and once I saw it I agreed that it was not that good.  Searching For Sugarman was the winner last night and it so deserved to be.  It's a story so amazing it had to be true.  So right on and spot on was the Academy with Best Documentary.

The biggest snub last night was ZERO DARK 30, a remarkable film that ultimately was too mired in controversey regarding torture.  Of course the USA tortures people.  Every single prisoner at GITMO has been and is being tortured.  So to torture some people in order to find, and destroy Osama, is completely acceptable. 

But Hollywood is so fucking political, esp having Michelle Obama present Best Picture, that too award ZD30 would have been an indictment on Barack Obama for allowing torture.  It would have looked odd to have his wife award ZD30 with Best Picture.  Hollywood has their cocks so far up Obama's ass.......

I digress. 

I heard Seth did a poor job, but seriously when the Titanic is sinking, how good a captain can you really be.

For God's sake Hollywood, jerk yourself off in private, America isn't interested in your bloated ceremonies.

Next year do a 15 minute comedy monologue, hand out some awards, do the In Memorium segment, hand out the rest of the awards and GO THE FUCK HOME, or to your cocaine parties, and sex orgies.

Now fuck off.  I'm done.