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Sunday, June 2, 2013
Doctor Teeth Sometimes Human....
I'm not always up for posting pics of young hotties or taking on the government. I'm not always in the mood to make fun of sitcom stars and the hypocrisy of life. Sometimes I wanna be real. Sometimes I want to let you all know how I feel.
Tired. Depressed. Full of anxiety and rage. Alone. Dreaming. Music. Waiting for the sun......
Whatever.
I am reality illusion. I am the promise of nothing. I am a muppet without a place to lay my head.
You come here for the filth, but I come here to clear my mind of the clutter.
Enjoy the show! Maybe you'll get a meltdown or two.... or just more pictures like this....
Tired. Depressed. Full of anxiety and rage. Alone. Dreaming. Music. Waiting for the sun......
Whatever.
I am reality illusion. I am the promise of nothing. I am a muppet without a place to lay my head.
You come here for the filth, but I come here to clear my mind of the clutter.
Enjoy the show! Maybe you'll get a meltdown or two.... or just more pictures like this....
Romance and Coffee (While Thinking of Before Sunrise)
"It's early in the morning, bout a quarter to 3 and I'm just sittin here talkin to my baby over cigarette's and coffee......"
Something about that image sits restlessly in my mind. Late night caffeine, nicotine and that conversation about why things aren't working out between us, when that first time I met you my heart raced and my mind couldn't focus on anything or anyone but you.
Sitting lazily on a chair and consuming movies like Before Sunrise wondering if I'd ever find myself in that situation asking a beautiful woman to get off the train with me for a walk through Vienna.
Does that scenario even exist anywhere but the fantasy world of the cinema?
Where is the romance in this particular time. It seems so natural that it would exist. But even if I realize that the movie is a movie, I still believe that romance is real....or do I?
My heart cries out for more than a one night stand or a trip to the coffee shop for empty conversation while resisting the urge to check my phone that buzzes with the latest non sequitor text message telling me nothing I currently need to know.
When a walk in the rain, a cup of coffee and a lazy afternoon watching couples fall in love doesn't equal a connection, then I don't know what does.
When you have wandered this place for four decades and still find yourself wandering alone, you wonder if romance is dead.
And I think what would happen if Jesse and Celine got together, would they now be found at Walmart getting green colored yogurt for their children, or sitting in the drive thru at McDonalds, barely tolerating each other while they wait for their $1 sandwich.
And for every beautiful woman who passes by, my heart gets hopeful, but that quickly fades when I realize that she doesn't even notice me.
I want to exist solely in the confines of a movie. Pure and final escapism for the endlessly jaded.
I just want one more cup of coffee with you.....whomever you are.
Something about that image sits restlessly in my mind. Late night caffeine, nicotine and that conversation about why things aren't working out between us, when that first time I met you my heart raced and my mind couldn't focus on anything or anyone but you.
Sitting lazily on a chair and consuming movies like Before Sunrise wondering if I'd ever find myself in that situation asking a beautiful woman to get off the train with me for a walk through Vienna.
Does that scenario even exist anywhere but the fantasy world of the cinema?
Where is the romance in this particular time. It seems so natural that it would exist. But even if I realize that the movie is a movie, I still believe that romance is real....or do I?
My heart cries out for more than a one night stand or a trip to the coffee shop for empty conversation while resisting the urge to check my phone that buzzes with the latest non sequitor text message telling me nothing I currently need to know.
When a walk in the rain, a cup of coffee and a lazy afternoon watching couples fall in love doesn't equal a connection, then I don't know what does.
When you have wandered this place for four decades and still find yourself wandering alone, you wonder if romance is dead.
And I think what would happen if Jesse and Celine got together, would they now be found at Walmart getting green colored yogurt for their children, or sitting in the drive thru at McDonalds, barely tolerating each other while they wait for their $1 sandwich.
And for every beautiful woman who passes by, my heart gets hopeful, but that quickly fades when I realize that she doesn't even notice me.
I want to exist solely in the confines of a movie. Pure and final escapism for the endlessly jaded.
I just want one more cup of coffee with you.....whomever you are.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
I Must Be Going Crazy......
Was there ever any doubt that I am at least ten miles out to sea in regards to my sanity?
This blog is now being used to try and prosecute me and persecute me in a court of law.
I was bounced from GITMO, but got pulled over for the solicitation of a Muppet.
So I sit here in county jail, with a pack of smokes, a computer and a harmonica which I use to entertain the boys at night to keep their mind off my ass.
Why do I look like Harry Shearer in that photo?
Anyway....
They asked if I wanted a revolution and I said, "HELL YEAH I DO!!!"
So when does it start they ask me?
I didn't know I was leading one.....
I guess I am.
This blog is now being used to try and prosecute me and persecute me in a court of law.
I was bounced from GITMO, but got pulled over for the solicitation of a Muppet.
So I sit here in county jail, with a pack of smokes, a computer and a harmonica which I use to entertain the boys at night to keep their mind off my ass.
Why do I look like Harry Shearer in that photo?
Anyway....
They asked if I wanted a revolution and I said, "HELL YEAH I DO!!!"
So when does it start they ask me?
I didn't know I was leading one.....
I guess I am.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Drinking Out Of Cups
What does this guy think he is, an indian?
What is he, a goddamn asshole? What the fuck is he doin’?
Not ever.
No way.
Now he’s Johnny Hammersticks. Hammered away like he’s freakin’ Tommy Noble.
What the hell’s he doin’?
Thinks he’s got it goin’ bossa nova … No way, no way…
What is the ga’bage? (garbage)
What is this? Oh I’m … king of the trees, I’m the tree-meister … I count on them.
[When sometimes I (brag? pry?) I like to (steelst)]
Yeah right …. yeeeah right
This guy’s a faggot. The guy’s some sort of faggot indian in the teepee. Who does this guy think he is, he’s Captain Knots? He thinks he’s Captain Tying Knots, when everyone needs some knots tied they go to him - BULL. SHIT. Bullshit
Aflkjg such a bitch, he thinks he’s Miss Sand (?), drinking out of cups…bein’ a bitch.
How ‘bout her fist? How bout her fabulusk(?) bardt (?)
Tired of the little kid in the background fuckin’ goin’ craaazzzaayy
Who’s this guy? Mr. Balloons. Mr. Balloon Hands. No way. No way, get real. Like those things
Mr. Walk Way. Mr. Walk Down Me, I’m The Walk Way … lead me to the building - fuck you!
5, 6, 4, 3
Yeeaheh Right!
Here’s some stupid bitch. Who paid for that floor? Not me. No way!
Never payin’ for no floor ever again. Not ONCE, not NEVA! Nope -
Who’s chair is that? Who brought that goddamn chair here - not my chair. Not my chair, not my problem - that’s what I say.
No way. Stupid dresses.
Stupid flowers.
Lighthouses rule. You don’t like the lighthouse, you suck!
What is this, Sea Horse Captain? What is this - Seahorse-Seashell party? Who didn’t invite me? Why didn’t I get invited?
Seahorse - Sea HELL. What is this? Get real. I’m in love with sea horses. I’m in love with ‘em. They’re so beautiful and cute - I’m in love with the seahorses. They’re fuckin’ unreal, I love them.
They’re like all the clocks - I love them. I love sea horses. And I love lookin’ at ‘em.
And I love SEA SHELLS. I love sea shell things. I love things with sea shells and sea horses on ‘em. Like blankets, and towels, and little bags. I love ‘em.
Sea horses. For-eva.
What is he, a goddamn asshole? What the fuck is he doin’?
Not ever.
No way.
Now he’s Johnny Hammersticks. Hammered away like he’s freakin’ Tommy Noble.
What the hell’s he doin’?
Thinks he’s got it goin’ bossa nova … No way, no way…
What is the ga’bage? (garbage)
What is this? Oh I’m … king of the trees, I’m the tree-meister … I count on them.
[When sometimes I (brag? pry?) I like to (steelst)]
Yeah right …. yeeeah right
This guy’s a faggot. The guy’s some sort of faggot indian in the teepee. Who does this guy think he is, he’s Captain Knots? He thinks he’s Captain Tying Knots, when everyone needs some knots tied they go to him - BULL. SHIT. Bullshit
Aflkjg such a bitch, he thinks he’s Miss Sand (?), drinking out of cups…bein’ a bitch.
How ‘bout her fist? How bout her fabulusk(?) bardt (?)
Tired of the little kid in the background fuckin’ goin’ craaazzzaayy
Who’s this guy? Mr. Balloons. Mr. Balloon Hands. No way. No way, get real. Like those things
Mr. Walk Way. Mr. Walk Down Me, I’m The Walk Way … lead me to the building - fuck you!
5, 6, 4, 3
Yeeaheh Right!
Here’s some stupid bitch. Who paid for that floor? Not me. No way!
Never payin’ for no floor ever again. Not ONCE, not NEVA! Nope -
Who’s chair is that? Who brought that goddamn chair here - not my chair. Not my chair, not my problem - that’s what I say.
No way. Stupid dresses.
Stupid flowers.
Lighthouses rule. You don’t like the lighthouse, you suck!
What is this, Sea Horse Captain? What is this - Seahorse-Seashell party? Who didn’t invite me? Why didn’t I get invited?
Seahorse - Sea HELL. What is this? Get real. I’m in love with sea horses. I’m in love with ‘em. They’re so beautiful and cute - I’m in love with the seahorses. They’re fuckin’ unreal, I love them.
They’re like all the clocks - I love them. I love sea horses. And I love lookin’ at ‘em.
And I love SEA SHELLS. I love sea shell things. I love things with sea shells and sea horses on ‘em. Like blankets, and towels, and little bags. I love ‘em.
Sea horses. For-eva.
Ladies in Lingerie Coming Soon....
There girls are the finalists in the Doctor Teeth Ladies in Lingerie Contest for Spring 2013. Vote Now!!!!!!!!!
Cards and Letters
I've decided to post a few random letters I have received from readers. Not everyone is a fan, but most are.....
Dear Doc Teeth-
You can't be for real!! You are a sick and disgusting asshole hiding behind a pretend façade. You were obviously beaten as a child and probably set on fire. Go to hell! Your blog sucks and go fuck yourself.
-Richard Jenkins
Naperville Illinois
******************************
Dear Dr. T-
You sick fucking bastard!! I hope you rot in hell!!!! Fuck off!!!
-Gayle Swain
Lombard Illinois
******************************
Dear Doctor Teeth-
Seriously this shit cracks me up! You are so funny. And I love the hot girls. Keep it up and stay funny!! I look forward to your blogs.
-Deshawn Johnson
Chicago Illinois
*****************************
Doctor Teeth-
Just another Conservative, Porno addicted asshole hiding behind a made up persona. Why don'y you grow some balls and show us who you really are. I bet you are a little child of a man who never had any friends.
-Name Withheld
Crete Illinois
***************************
Dear Doc Teeth-
You show some hot girls on your blog, but are they as hot as me and my friends? (PHOTO INCLUDED)
-Amanda Cullen
Roselle Illinois
Hey Amanda, I think you and your girlfriends are super hot and I wanna invite you all over to my place for an after-hours party!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's it for today everybody. More cards and letters to come soon.........
Dear Doc Teeth-
You can't be for real!! You are a sick and disgusting asshole hiding behind a pretend façade. You were obviously beaten as a child and probably set on fire. Go to hell! Your blog sucks and go fuck yourself.
-Richard Jenkins
Naperville Illinois
******************************
Dear Dr. T-
You sick fucking bastard!! I hope you rot in hell!!!! Fuck off!!!
-Gayle Swain
Lombard Illinois
******************************
Dear Doctor Teeth-
Seriously this shit cracks me up! You are so funny. And I love the hot girls. Keep it up and stay funny!! I look forward to your blogs.
-Deshawn Johnson
Chicago Illinois
*****************************
Doctor Teeth-
Just another Conservative, Porno addicted asshole hiding behind a made up persona. Why don'y you grow some balls and show us who you really are. I bet you are a little child of a man who never had any friends.
-Name Withheld
Crete Illinois
***************************
Dear Doc Teeth-
You show some hot girls on your blog, but are they as hot as me and my friends? (PHOTO INCLUDED)
-Amanda Cullen
Roselle Illinois
Hey Amanda, I think you and your girlfriends are super hot and I wanna invite you all over to my place for an after-hours party!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's it for today everybody. More cards and letters to come soon.........
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