Monday, April 30, 2012

The Stomach Demon Returns

  Friday night I managed to eat half a sandwhich.  Haven't been hungry lately.  Emotional oddities and mind altering medications are the likely culprits.  As I forced myself to eat something I watched Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence.  Now all I want to say about this film is that I am not into censorship, but this should be banned.  It was filthy, offensive and disgusting.  My cousin warned my I'd have nightmares bad enough to mess my sheets.  I laughed it off. I have seen live video's of people getting their heads cut off, and this was only fiction.

Strange thing is 5:30 in the morning and I slowly awake to racing thoughts in my brain. Now I don't know how it works for you, but before I am about to get sick my mind starts racing with abstract thoughts moving a mile a moment.  I started to squirm a bit when suddenly I realized, "I'm gonna be sick"!!

I ran to the bathroom but nothing happened.  I stood there feeling like someone was ringing out my insides.  I started to sweat and I started to pant but nothing happened.  And being the OCD moron I am, I immediately updated my Facebook status to reflect my sudden illness and how I blamed Human Centipede 2.  But the real culprit was either a newly aquired bug, not to be confused with a centipede, or the Subway sandwhich I ate. 

My stomach felt like it was on a death march, yet nothing happened.  I immediately took two Alka Seltzer's, three Tums, and drank a cup of Peppermint Tea.  Nothing was working.  And of course when I tried to lie back down my cats kept trying to sit on my stomach.  One cat was almost thrown into the box fan I turned on I was so aggrivated.

I soon realized that I was again possessed by my Stomach Demon.  The one that makes me feel sick as hell but nothing happens.  No vomit, no Upset Stomach; just pain.  And what pain it was.

I managed to fall back asleep.  I needed to be up by noon for a coffee date I had made.  At 11:00 I awoke to find myself freezing and still in pain.  I grabbed the cat that almost got sliced in the box fan and cuddled with him under four blankets while I texted my friend with one eye open to cancel.

In my mind I kept hearing, "The power of Christ compels you!!!!"  I decided even if I was cancelling my coffee date, I was still getting my morning cup of Joe.  So I stood up and Demons be damned I put on as many layers of warm clothing as I could.  I looked like a hamper when I was done. 

I texted my friend back and told her I'd crawl my way to Starbucks since we already made plans and were looking forward to them.  I knew I could survive!  I spent the week being depressed and now I was sick.  I was damned if I was going to be stopped.

So I went, and we met.  And I shivered while we chatted about life and other redundancies. 

Ultimately, it was a good time, but I have been battling my stomach demon ever since. 

Now that I have succesfully unpossessed myself I can go back to just being depressed.

Yay me!!!!!!



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