Women Chatting in Starbucks

Sitting here at Starbucks listening to two women next to me talking about men and dating makes me wanna stick hot ice picks into my ears.


But I imagine what it must sound like to hear two men sitting next to me talking about vagina's and sex....


In truth the Good Doctor is just tired this morning and really doesn't want to hear anyone talking.

Proceed with caution my loyal readers.

I Never Put My Name on Anything

I don't put my name on just anything. I am not going to be used to sell your shitty product.

People have asked me time and time again to help them sell their product.  I just won't do it.

Here are a few I have turned down.





I just refuse to push a product on the American People, but China.....that's another story....and so is India, Saudi Arabia, Africa, Canada, Antarctica, and Europe....

Happy Memorial Day and Odds and Ends

Ok what is wrong with that Title?

Why would anyone say Happy?  Memorial Day only exists because soldiers have died, violently and usually needlessly.  So what the fuck is so happy about it?

People have accused me of being anti-soldier and anti-military, which is completely false. I am pro military, because I am counting on the military to one day help the people of the United States over throw the government.

I am anti-pointless wars.  Since 911, how many wars have we gotten into?  I count enough to fill a fucking bingo card.

Whether it be George Hitler Bush or Barack Osama Obama Bin Laden, we have mired ourselves in so many useless and illegal war and military actions.


So get it right...... I am Anti-Government as every muppet should be.

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In other news, I am at a complete loss for words as to how the FAST AND FURIOUS franchise keeps getting better.  6 movies later and the films are getting better and making more money.
Am I the only one who loses IQ points every time Vin Diesel talks?

If it weren't for those movies, Vin and Paul Walker would be sweeping up a Walmart on the overnight shift.
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PLENTY OF FAKES.com

And what's the deal with women on dating sites posting photo's of themselves that make them appear lighter than they truly are.  What do they expect to happen when they show up for a date and the guy notices that they are 40 lbs heavier than in their picture?  Is the guy shallow or is the girl a fucking liar?

Don't pretend to be someone you're not. I don't.

I am a 57 year old perverted muppet who snorts drain cleaner and sleeps with homeless whores.  We just gotta be who we gotta be.




By the way my buddy Oscar has fallen on hard times and he will muppet for food. And he is one hell of a muppet-fucker who muppets the hell out of a muppet.

Memorial Day Sexy Fun Girls

Its Memorial Day and what better way to celebrate than to post pictures of hot women. 

TERRORISM-GITMO-KOOL AID

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Doctor Teeth Hits GITMO

Ok so a weekend of severe partying, did you know that you can snort Nutmeg, and probably catching STD's from at least 9 different homeless prostitutes, the FBI and Dept of Homeland Security came knocking on my door.

They found me. 


I told them I was doing a shitty documentary about a celebrity going crazy, but they weren't having it.  Turns out I'm not a legal US citizen, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH MOM AND DAD, and they wanted to question me about the uprising and revolts led by my ten year old adopted son TIBOR.


Fucking TIBOR is always getting me into trouble. Otherwise he is cock-blocking me with the ladies. He may be ten but he is so fucking hung.  He got that from his mother.

TIBOR tried to access the White House via the internet, not as a Hacker, but literally crawled inside the internet and shoveled his way toward the white house.  He saw TRON too many times.

So until the Dept of Homeland Security can locate TIBOR, they have decided to use me as bait, and toss my ass in GITMO.

All the prisoners here have been kind.  They welcomed me with open arms.  Seems they are in the middle of a Hunger Strike.


These 3 guys are my cell mates.

I decided that the hunger strike was stupid so I eat, and eat a lot.  I like to wave it in their faces to make them jealous.

How long is the US Government gonna use me as collateral to catch TIBOR?

Where the fuck is Tibor?  I got drugs too do.  Blogs to write.  And whores to bore.

If you are reading this Tibor....

I am going to fucking kill you.  I am going to skin your body and wear your skin like a raincoat.

I am done covering for you.

I am...........

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN HACKED(@*#@!()*(&@!!!!......TRANSMISSION OVERRIDE.....

Dear old Daddy Teeth.....

This is TIBOR...


We are coming for you.................................

Barack Obama

Ok, everyone who voted for this cocksucker owes me an apology. I'll take it in the form of a Birthday Card.  Thank you.......