Ok so I am on this really lame fucking dating site called Plenty of Fish and I see a lot of common mistakes made by women in their profiles so I thought I'd offer some advice and tips for them.
1. BOOBS- If your pictures feature you showing a major amount of cleavage or half naked then don't write in your profile that you are not looking for a FWB, or one night stand, etc., keep your boobs in your shirt if you want to be taken seriously and not just contacted for sex.
2. STAY IN/GO OUT- So many profiles say, "I like to get dressed up and go out, but I also like to wear sweats and stay in.." Well, who the fuck doesn't. That comment is so redundant.
3. DRAMA- Why do you feel the need to tell everyone you are not looking for drama. I mean, who the fuck is looking for drama? Do we really not already know that you are not looking for drama? If you were looking for drama you would right that in your profile so it's assumed your not.
4. BEST FRIEND- Don't post pictures of you posing with your friends who are much hotter than you. It just makes men want to know who "that" person is rather than you.
5. GUY PICS- Why post pictures of you with other guys? Even if you say this is your Bestie or your BFF or your cousin, it still sends the message that you may have posted a photo of you with your boyfriend. It doesn't help your cause that your posing with other guys. Do you wanna see guy pics with them posing with other women?
6. KIDS- Don't put your fucking kids out on a dating website. Come on! Get a clue. Protect their privacy. And if you don't have kids, pics of you posing with your nieces and nephews just makes you seem desperate.
7. WEIGHT- If you are overweight, fat, or obese, the man is gonna find out at some point, so don't just post photo's of extreme close-ups of your face. And don't say your body type is average or a few extra pounds when it is clear that you are morbidly obese. Own up to who you are and what you look like. It shows more character and class.
8. FIRST CONTACT- Its ok ladies to contact a guy first. We don't bite, unless you want us too. It is the 21st Century. Get over it.
9. FIRST DATE- I hate when women write, "You plan, I show." That's just arrogant and rude. And I also don't like that so many people wanna drink alcohol on their first date. Let's not rely on alcohol to make us comfortable and remember too much alcohol makes us easy.
10. ENDLESS EMAILS- Seriously if your looking for a pen pal there are plenty of inmates that would love to write letters back and forth. And if you are just looking for friends, join a club not a dating website. At some point you need to move off the site and into the real world.
11. SEX- I realize many women pretend they are looking for a relationship to vet out all the emails they get from men's penis's, when they really just want to get laid. Hey its ok, we all wanna have sex. But just remember that when you fuck a guy within the first hour of meeting that most likely the guy will never wanna date you because he knows you're a whore and you probably can't be trusted. That's the trap. Guys want you to be a whore, but once you are they will use it against you.
12 THE PROCESS- Twenty emails, five phone calls, a coffee date just to see if you click and wanna go out on a date seems like a lot of effort and wasted time. Just get on the phone, then use the coffee as the date and decide. But this whole fucking process feels like a Scavenger Hunt. Just grow a pair and meet someone in a public place and figure it out.
13. PICS- Why would you even post a picture that is more than two years old? Your pictures need to be of what you look like right now. The person I am meeting is today not two years ago or longer. If you're forty I don't care what you looked like at 20 because you don't look like that now. And I don't expect you oo.
14. WEIGHT pt 2- Don't write in your profile that you are aware of your weight issues and that you are working on it, or that you accept you for you. If you are or you did then you wouldn't feel the need to mention it. Don't tell me you're losing weight, just go lose it. And if you accept yourself for who you are then just leave it at that. It shows more character. But telling me you're working on it is like making a false promise that one day you'll be attractive. If I don't think you're attractive now then I don't deserve you and you don't want to be with me.
I am sure there are other things to write about but I am busy trying to convince this chick that I am a stock broker who makes $95,000 a year so she'll fuck me so I gotta run........
Monday, August 5, 2013
Jerry Garcia watches his own Performances
I was wondering the other day that if Jerry Garcia was still alive and hopefully sober, then what would be his reaction to watching footage of his concert performances in 1995.
I can imagine him, five years clean, sitting alone in a room and watching how his health and his addiction completely destroyed his performances and his ability to play.
I know he was self aware of his inability to perform, but what would it have been like a few years later, looking back through clean and sober eyes, at how awful his condition was and therefore how awful his performances were.
It reminds me of when David Hasselhoff''s daughter recorded him when he was drunk trying to eat a cheeseburger. What must have crossed his mind when he watched that tape later on.
Jerry 1995
Jerry 1993
Look at the two pictures, and see how much he declined in just two years. Its sad that at 53 he looked like he was 81, but in some weird way at least we got to see what Jerry might have looked like had he ever achieved old age.
Its been said before that truly special, magical artists are usually short timers on this planet, but does that always have to be true?
At least Jerry in 1995 didn't look like Jerry in 1981....
As a recovering addict I wish Jerry would have gotten a chance to hear his performances. And what do I know maybe he did. There was a reason he turned his volume down in the mix during the final months.
At the end of the day I would love to be able to read an interview where Jerry reflects on his years of addiction and what it did to his music, but that would also mean Jerry would still be with us and I think truly that is what I wish for the most.
But I would rather have him dead as an addict then alive if he wasn't ever going to recover.
And with his track record, I don't think he would have cleaned up his act in 1995 if he hadn't died. I think Jerry was meant to be an active addict until the end.
That's what happens when you're rich, and surrounded by people who won't tell you the truth.
Celebrity's a bitch. Just ask Jerry.
I can imagine him, five years clean, sitting alone in a room and watching how his health and his addiction completely destroyed his performances and his ability to play.
I know he was self aware of his inability to perform, but what would it have been like a few years later, looking back through clean and sober eyes, at how awful his condition was and therefore how awful his performances were.
It reminds me of when David Hasselhoff''s daughter recorded him when he was drunk trying to eat a cheeseburger. What must have crossed his mind when he watched that tape later on.
Jerry 1995Jerry 1993
Look at the two pictures, and see how much he declined in just two years. Its sad that at 53 he looked like he was 81, but in some weird way at least we got to see what Jerry might have looked like had he ever achieved old age.
Its been said before that truly special, magical artists are usually short timers on this planet, but does that always have to be true?
At least Jerry in 1995 didn't look like Jerry in 1981....
As a recovering addict I wish Jerry would have gotten a chance to hear his performances. And what do I know maybe he did. There was a reason he turned his volume down in the mix during the final months.
At the end of the day I would love to be able to read an interview where Jerry reflects on his years of addiction and what it did to his music, but that would also mean Jerry would still be with us and I think truly that is what I wish for the most.
But I would rather have him dead as an addict then alive if he wasn't ever going to recover.
And with his track record, I don't think he would have cleaned up his act in 1995 if he hadn't died. I think Jerry was meant to be an active addict until the end.
That's what happens when you're rich, and surrounded by people who won't tell you the truth.
Celebrity's a bitch. Just ask Jerry.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Al Queda Summer Camp
I recently got a letter from my adopted son Tibor who has spent most of the summer at an Al Queda Summer Camp in Afghanistan....
Dear Father-
I hope this letter finds you well. I am having a great time at Al Queda Summer Camp for Children. I have learned so many things this summer that will serve me in the future. Our first week was spent hunting down women who made eye contact. We set them on fire and then ate them. It was the only meal we got the whole first week.
This is me and the bitch I cooked. She was so tasty.
We spent time in flight simulators. I know how to fly and American Airline jet. Odd thing is they didn't teach us take offs or landings. And our simulator was aimed at important US monuments and points of interest. If we hit the bulls-eye we got 100%. Needless to say I am so good I got extra credit.
We learned bomb making, and it turns out I created the worlds smallest shoe bomb that is nuclear. Kirstie Alli Jabar Shabazz says I was born for Al Queda. I have converted to Islam because Ice Cube said in his 1991 album Death Certificate, "Islam nigga's are the craziest...", so I wanted to be like that.
This is my troop leader Sheik Abdul Cube. He said I could grow a beard like his one day.
We just spent a few days at a place called Bengazi. I thought that was the cream you put on sore muscles. We freed a bunch of people who have now joined our camp. I love making new friends.
Tomorrow we are learning how to fuck goats......uhm, I think I will take the day off.
I can't wait for the summer to end because I decided what I am going to do for my final project here at Al Queda Summer Camp for Kids.....
I'M GONNA KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THESE GOAT RAPING COCKSUCKERS....
These fuckers trained me to be a killer, so I am going to use my training against them. I will avenge the United States of America.
Dearest Daddy, if I do not come home, just know that these Nike's helped save a nation.
With Warmest Regards-
Tibor
Dear Father-
I hope this letter finds you well. I am having a great time at Al Queda Summer Camp for Children. I have learned so many things this summer that will serve me in the future. Our first week was spent hunting down women who made eye contact. We set them on fire and then ate them. It was the only meal we got the whole first week.
This is me and the bitch I cooked. She was so tasty.
We spent time in flight simulators. I know how to fly and American Airline jet. Odd thing is they didn't teach us take offs or landings. And our simulator was aimed at important US monuments and points of interest. If we hit the bulls-eye we got 100%. Needless to say I am so good I got extra credit.
We learned bomb making, and it turns out I created the worlds smallest shoe bomb that is nuclear. Kirstie Alli Jabar Shabazz says I was born for Al Queda. I have converted to Islam because Ice Cube said in his 1991 album Death Certificate, "Islam nigga's are the craziest...", so I wanted to be like that.
We just spent a few days at a place called Bengazi. I thought that was the cream you put on sore muscles. We freed a bunch of people who have now joined our camp. I love making new friends.
Tomorrow we are learning how to fuck goats......uhm, I think I will take the day off.
I can't wait for the summer to end because I decided what I am going to do for my final project here at Al Queda Summer Camp for Kids.....
I'M GONNA KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THESE GOAT RAPING COCKSUCKERS....
These fuckers trained me to be a killer, so I am going to use my training against them. I will avenge the United States of America.
Dearest Daddy, if I do not come home, just know that these Nike's helped save a nation.
With Warmest Regards-
Tibor
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Vin Diesel and Paul Walker Interviewed by Doctor Teeth
Recently I had the unfortunate luck to sit down with Vin Diesel and Paul Walker from the Fast and Furious Franchise. These two had just gotten done getting Vin his rabies shots and flea collar and they agreed to sit down and talk with Doctor Teeth about life, movies and being born retarded.
Doctor Teeth: Well its a...well its.....well thanks.....hey guys.
Vin Diesel: Derp Durr Drurl Doop Dippity...
Doctor Teeth: What the fuck?
Paul Walker: He said its great to meet you Mr. Teeth.
Doctor Teeth: That's Doctor. You really understood what he said?
Paul Walker: Yes, of course. I understand everything Vin says. That is why we are in all the same movies together. In each of Vin's movie contracts is The Paul Walker Clause. Since I am the only one that can understand him they put me in his movies so I can translate what he says to the director.
Vin Diesel: gooop derrp dooort.
Doctor Teeth: Is he retarded?
Paul Walker: He's just misunderstood. (Paul proceeds to pet Vin's bald head.)
I proceed to hold up random objects in front of Vin, who becomes excited.
Doctor Teeth: What is this Vin? (Holding up a pencil)
Vin Diesel: Peerp.
Doctor Teeth: Well that word started with a P so I guess he said pencil.
Paul Walker goes into his pocket and removes something and puts it in Vin's mouth.
Vin becomes excited and claps his hands together happily.
Doctor Teeth: Was that some sort of treat?
Paul Walker: Yes its a bit of spam. Vin loves spam as a treat.
I proceed to light a cigarette and the flame from my lighter agitates Vin.
Vin: Fire.....bad....fire....bad!!!!!!
Vin stands up and proceeds to wreck my office, flipping over books and smashing things.
Vin Diesel: VIN SMASH!!!!!!
Paul Walker shrieks like a bitch with a skinned knee.
Paul Walker: You've upset him you silly!! You upset him.
Paul pulls out a leash and tosses it on Vin who fights and resists.
Paul Walker: Its ok Vin. Its ok. Pauly is here.
Vin calms down and rests his head on Paul's shoulder.
Vin Diesel: Paul.....good....deerrrp drooo diiip.
Doctor Teeth: Can I just say something at this point?
Vin Diesel: Deeep???!!
Paul Walker: Sure.
Doctor Teeth: Get the fuck out of my office before I put a shotgun up both of your asses and pull the trigger until it goes click.
Paul and Vin get up and hurry out of the room. I suspected something was off about Vin Diesel when they added subtitles and a Bane sounding voice over to his voice in his latest movies. Was Vin born retarded, or did he have a horrible accident that TMZ failed to tell us about.
I will get to the bottom of this and report back soon......
These guys had to have met on Craigs List.
Tell me this Popeye character doesn't look like Vin Diesel.
Doctor Teeth: Well its a...well its.....well thanks.....hey guys.
Vin Diesel: Derp Durr Drurl Doop Dippity...
Doctor Teeth: What the fuck?
Paul Walker: He said its great to meet you Mr. Teeth.
Doctor Teeth: That's Doctor. You really understood what he said?
Paul Walker: Yes, of course. I understand everything Vin says. That is why we are in all the same movies together. In each of Vin's movie contracts is The Paul Walker Clause. Since I am the only one that can understand him they put me in his movies so I can translate what he says to the director.
Vin Diesel: gooop derrp dooort.
Doctor Teeth: Is he retarded?
Paul Walker: He's just misunderstood. (Paul proceeds to pet Vin's bald head.)
I proceed to hold up random objects in front of Vin, who becomes excited.
Doctor Teeth: What is this Vin? (Holding up a pencil)
Vin Diesel: Peerp.
Doctor Teeth: Well that word started with a P so I guess he said pencil.
Paul Walker goes into his pocket and removes something and puts it in Vin's mouth.
Vin becomes excited and claps his hands together happily.
Doctor Teeth: Was that some sort of treat?
Paul Walker: Yes its a bit of spam. Vin loves spam as a treat.
I proceed to light a cigarette and the flame from my lighter agitates Vin.
Vin: Fire.....bad....fire....bad!!!!!!
Vin stands up and proceeds to wreck my office, flipping over books and smashing things.
Vin Diesel: VIN SMASH!!!!!!
Paul Walker shrieks like a bitch with a skinned knee.
Paul Walker: You've upset him you silly!! You upset him.
Paul pulls out a leash and tosses it on Vin who fights and resists.
Paul Walker: Its ok Vin. Its ok. Pauly is here.
Vin calms down and rests his head on Paul's shoulder.
Vin Diesel: Paul.....good....deerrrp drooo diiip.
Doctor Teeth: Can I just say something at this point?
Vin Diesel: Deeep???!!
Paul Walker: Sure.
Doctor Teeth: Get the fuck out of my office before I put a shotgun up both of your asses and pull the trigger until it goes click.
Paul and Vin get up and hurry out of the room. I suspected something was off about Vin Diesel when they added subtitles and a Bane sounding voice over to his voice in his latest movies. Was Vin born retarded, or did he have a horrible accident that TMZ failed to tell us about.
I will get to the bottom of this and report back soon......
These guys had to have met on Craigs List.
Tell me this Popeye character doesn't look like Vin Diesel.
Gluten Free Is Everywhere!! HELP ME!!!!!
A hoax has been perpetrated on the American People; a hoax
that makes Jesus, Santa Claus and the Holocaust pale in comparison. This is a hoax that has caused some sort of
mass hysteria amongst the public. It
appears to be air-borne, and Oprah Winfrey is believed to be Patient Zero. This hoax is simply known as GLUTEN
FREE. At some point one person ate some
gluten and went off on a trip the likes of which no non- Deadhead has ever
witnessed. There are scores of people
all over the land who are now either allergic to gluten or are afraid of the
addictive and supposedly deadly effects of gluten. Every restaurant now has Gluten Free
menus. Diners are now asking questions
about every item in every dish a restaurant serves. “Is this gluten free”, well the last time I
checked no body was charging extra for gluten so I am sure it comes free with
the dish.
But it is not good enough. Some people react to gluten like
the devil reacts to Holy Water. They are
angry at it. They are afraid of it.
When did the American public turn into such
fraidy-cats? They can’t have gluten, or
dairy, or meat, or peanuts, or shellfish, or hydrogen dioxide. Get over it people. The flour in your food is not going to harm
you. If you want to eat like an animal
living off the land then go graze on a farm, and do not go into restaurants or
stores anymore. Eat the fucking grass on
the ground. Chew a branch on a tree.
Starve for all I care, but enough of this irrational fear of gluten. It has always been there and it always will
be. You will not escape it. It knows you.
It knows where you live. It knows
what you fear. Deal with it.
Snort, suck, chew, gulp and fuck as much gluten as you
can. You will survive.
I did……….
Friday, July 26, 2013
The Conjuring: Summer Success
So I went and saw The Conjuring today and while it is really filled with Haunted House cliche's and reminds the viewer of greater horror films like Exorcist, Amityville Horror, Poltergeist, etc., what it does do is takes the great parts of all of those films and makes a film thats more like an homage to those old 70's scare films.
The plot is simple.... Family moves into an old house for no reason, where the walls are dirty and there are cobwebs everywhere, but hey its the 70's so no one cares.
Immediately the dog starts acting weird, but thats ok because he won't be around long enough to see what happens to this family.
And slowly but surely the haunted house starts fucking with everyone, except the Dad for some reason, in various ways.
I loved how the strange smell is blamed on one of the kids farting, although she tells the accusing sister, "It's not me its you." And while at first the fart concept seems odd it is really the most realistic way to explain the randomness of weird smells that pop up at night.
As the film goes on the scares become more focused and intense and suddenly not only are doors moving and clocks stopping, but apparitions and demons are appearing.
What I always question is that if a ghost doesn't want the people there, then why not come on strongly immediately and get them the fuck out. Why take your time? Oh because its a movie that is slowly building tension and dread.
The scares in The Conjuring are consistent and each time more and more scary. That's what made it so much fun.
Of course we toss in an exorcism to top things off. And although not the most interesting exorcism we've seen on film, it is interesting in that the person being exorcised is covered by a sheet.
The movie ends softly and with a lot of sun, but we know that its not over....the film was too successful financially and nothing brings a ghost back quicker in Hollywood than a big profit.
Even this evil bitch gets in on the fun...
Check it out. It'll remind you of many other horror films, but it'll entertain the hell out of you.
The plot is simple.... Family moves into an old house for no reason, where the walls are dirty and there are cobwebs everywhere, but hey its the 70's so no one cares.
Immediately the dog starts acting weird, but thats ok because he won't be around long enough to see what happens to this family.
And slowly but surely the haunted house starts fucking with everyone, except the Dad for some reason, in various ways.
I loved how the strange smell is blamed on one of the kids farting, although she tells the accusing sister, "It's not me its you." And while at first the fart concept seems odd it is really the most realistic way to explain the randomness of weird smells that pop up at night.
As the film goes on the scares become more focused and intense and suddenly not only are doors moving and clocks stopping, but apparitions and demons are appearing.
What I always question is that if a ghost doesn't want the people there, then why not come on strongly immediately and get them the fuck out. Why take your time? Oh because its a movie that is slowly building tension and dread.
The scares in The Conjuring are consistent and each time more and more scary. That's what made it so much fun.
Of course we toss in an exorcism to top things off. And although not the most interesting exorcism we've seen on film, it is interesting in that the person being exorcised is covered by a sheet.
The movie ends softly and with a lot of sun, but we know that its not over....the film was too successful financially and nothing brings a ghost back quicker in Hollywood than a big profit.
Even this evil bitch gets in on the fun...
Check it out. It'll remind you of many other horror films, but it'll entertain the hell out of you.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Straight to DVD: The Christian Slater Curse
There are a string of actors who have become 'Straight to DVD' actors and sometimes it is shocking who has a movie that goes straight to DVD.
It should be noted that just because a film didn't open in your neighborhood, doesn't mean it didn't open in a theater, but odds are if it only opened in New York or Los Angeles for a week, it still sorta counts as a Straight to DVD film.
Here are the power trio of actors....
Christian Slater- He is the reigning king of straight to dvd. He hasn't had a film hit the theaters since that awful UWE BOLL film a few years back. And let's face it if you're in a Uwe Boll flick at all your career is in trouble. Christians career hit the skids years ago because, of course, he got into drinking and drugs and domestic abuse, etc. and hasn't been able to recover since. He's also tried two tv shows that combined didn't last a single season. I bet he feels lucky to be getting any work at all.
Cuba Gooding Jr. - What makes his straight to dvd career so shocking is that he doesn't seem to have a drug problem or anything and he even won an Academy Award!!!! But he no longer has films that come out to the theater. He is going to play a small role in MACHETE KILLS in September, but then again being in a Robert Rodriguez film is not a career comeback, because like Tarantino, Rodrigues plucks actors out of obscurity and puts them in his films. There are dozens of actors who have Tarantino and Rodriguez to thank for jumpstarting their careers even if they only go another 500 miles.
Val Kilmer- There are so many people in Hollywood that refuse to work with this guy. He is reported to be a pain in the ass of mammoth proportions. He is a prima donna who thinks he's better than the rest. Well its great to be the greatest and not have anyone wanting to work with you. This guy was in some huge hits...TOP GUN and he played BATMAN. But when your attitude sucks, your looks fade and you gain 50 lbs. Your lucky to be in films at all.
Now there are a few others who have surprisingly popped up in Straight to DVD films.
Harrison Ford- This legend did a film called Crossing Over about Border Agent crap, and it has an all star cast but it wasn't good enough to be released in theaters and went straight to dvd.
Al Pacino- He and Channing Tatum appeared in the pathetic cop film, Son of No One. Watching this film and Pacino's performance in it makes it no surprise that this went straight to DVD. Pacino must have owed someone a favor or had to do community service for appearing in Jack and Jill, because his presence and performance in this film is just plain awful.
Robert DeNiro- Let's be honest, it should have been Robert DeNiro that died not James Gandolfini. The fact that anything this guy does even gets made let alone released in a theater is of complete shock to me. But he appeared in 50 Cent's film Freelancers about crooked cops. DeNiro played a bad cop who had Fiddy's dad killed. The film is so poorly written and acted. It stuns me that this is the second time DeNiro has been in a film with Fiddy Diddy. Now DeNiro has a film out with John Travolta called Killing Season that has opened in a small handful of theaters but also went straight to Video on Demand the same day. This is not good for two Giants of the film world.
James Gandolfini- Now in Gandolfini's defense he has done plenty of films that were so small they were never really meant for theater screens. He has had some films come out at the theater but his appearance in films are merely cameo roles, much like DeNiro did in the 80's and does today. Sadly Gandolfini recently died and we won't get a chance to see where his post Soprano's career was heading, although I wrote a blog about that.... http://doctor-teeth.blogspot.com/2013/06/james-gandolfini-what-fuck.html?zx=4e0d2953fc5ab1c3
50 Cent- This guy isn't an actor so his films should go straight to DVD, but the reason I mention him is that he produces and acts in these films and has gotten people like DeNiro, Bruce Willis, Rosario Dawson, and a few other big names to appear in his shitty films that go straight to DVD, but hey someone must like him because he has a bunch of these films, and big named stars appear in them.
***There are so many more actors who have appeared in straight to DVD films and it's not always there fault. Some studio's decide at the last minute to dump a film meant for the theater on DVD instead because the finished product was not what they expected. Some straight to DVD films are actually good, although naming on escapes me at the moment.
Well I have to run now as I'm sure that Christian Slater has a dvd being released at any moment.
It should be noted that just because a film didn't open in your neighborhood, doesn't mean it didn't open in a theater, but odds are if it only opened in New York or Los Angeles for a week, it still sorta counts as a Straight to DVD film.
Here are the power trio of actors....
Christian Slater- He is the reigning king of straight to dvd. He hasn't had a film hit the theaters since that awful UWE BOLL film a few years back. And let's face it if you're in a Uwe Boll flick at all your career is in trouble. Christians career hit the skids years ago because, of course, he got into drinking and drugs and domestic abuse, etc. and hasn't been able to recover since. He's also tried two tv shows that combined didn't last a single season. I bet he feels lucky to be getting any work at all.
Cuba Gooding Jr. - What makes his straight to dvd career so shocking is that he doesn't seem to have a drug problem or anything and he even won an Academy Award!!!! But he no longer has films that come out to the theater. He is going to play a small role in MACHETE KILLS in September, but then again being in a Robert Rodriguez film is not a career comeback, because like Tarantino, Rodrigues plucks actors out of obscurity and puts them in his films. There are dozens of actors who have Tarantino and Rodriguez to thank for jumpstarting their careers even if they only go another 500 miles.
Val Kilmer- There are so many people in Hollywood that refuse to work with this guy. He is reported to be a pain in the ass of mammoth proportions. He is a prima donna who thinks he's better than the rest. Well its great to be the greatest and not have anyone wanting to work with you. This guy was in some huge hits...TOP GUN and he played BATMAN. But when your attitude sucks, your looks fade and you gain 50 lbs. Your lucky to be in films at all.
Now there are a few others who have surprisingly popped up in Straight to DVD films.
Harrison Ford- This legend did a film called Crossing Over about Border Agent crap, and it has an all star cast but it wasn't good enough to be released in theaters and went straight to dvd.
Al Pacino- He and Channing Tatum appeared in the pathetic cop film, Son of No One. Watching this film and Pacino's performance in it makes it no surprise that this went straight to DVD. Pacino must have owed someone a favor or had to do community service for appearing in Jack and Jill, because his presence and performance in this film is just plain awful.
Robert DeNiro- Let's be honest, it should have been Robert DeNiro that died not James Gandolfini. The fact that anything this guy does even gets made let alone released in a theater is of complete shock to me. But he appeared in 50 Cent's film Freelancers about crooked cops. DeNiro played a bad cop who had Fiddy's dad killed. The film is so poorly written and acted. It stuns me that this is the second time DeNiro has been in a film with Fiddy Diddy. Now DeNiro has a film out with John Travolta called Killing Season that has opened in a small handful of theaters but also went straight to Video on Demand the same day. This is not good for two Giants of the film world.
James Gandolfini- Now in Gandolfini's defense he has done plenty of films that were so small they were never really meant for theater screens. He has had some films come out at the theater but his appearance in films are merely cameo roles, much like DeNiro did in the 80's and does today. Sadly Gandolfini recently died and we won't get a chance to see where his post Soprano's career was heading, although I wrote a blog about that.... http://doctor-teeth.blogspot.com/2013/06/james-gandolfini-what-fuck.html?zx=4e0d2953fc5ab1c3
50 Cent- This guy isn't an actor so his films should go straight to DVD, but the reason I mention him is that he produces and acts in these films and has gotten people like DeNiro, Bruce Willis, Rosario Dawson, and a few other big names to appear in his shitty films that go straight to DVD, but hey someone must like him because he has a bunch of these films, and big named stars appear in them.
***There are so many more actors who have appeared in straight to DVD films and it's not always there fault. Some studio's decide at the last minute to dump a film meant for the theater on DVD instead because the finished product was not what they expected. Some straight to DVD films are actually good, although naming on escapes me at the moment.
Well I have to run now as I'm sure that Christian Slater has a dvd being released at any moment.
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