Monday, December 3, 2012

Original Sin: Adult Content Version

Women are interesting creatures.  Lets think about this.

 In the Bible, God created man, then animal THEN woman.  Woman came after fucking animals.  That shows you were God's mind was.  Then Eve is born and commits the first sin.  Within weeks of being created a woman is already fucking up the planet. 

Then this puts God in the position to have to sacrifice his only child Jesus.  Jesus died for all of our sins.  But if Eve hadn't been such a cunt, there would be no sin, and Jesus would still be alive today performing card tricks and doing back flips on water.

I can imagine Jesus on the cross thinking to himself as the blood runs down his face, "That fucking bitch!"

You notice in the Middle East Bible, Allah just stopped after the creation of man and animal, because those backwards motherfuckers love fucking goats.  I mean a goat is allowed to roam free and have its face seen in public.

But those bearded motherfuckers must have pissed off Allah and he punished them by creating Middle Eastern women, whom the men hate so much they cover every fucking part of their body. The only thing thats allowed to show in public are their nostrils so they can breathe.  They have less rights than a goat and if they talk back to the men, they get shot in the head, or have their hands chopped off or their bodies set on fire.  I mean these guys really hate women.  Thank God God created animals for them.

Now in the early 70's Jim Henson created the Muppets.  They are all male except for one fat pig.  He knew the trouble the men would get in if there were too many female muppets around. Granted there was Janis from my band, but she was to busy eating pussy and shooting heroin to bother with men.  Fuck even Gonzo preferred chickens to women.  Miss Piggy was this fat, annoying chick whom you could fuck, but would never admit to your friends that you had.  And you certainly wouldn't date her. I mean who wants to date a fat pig?

Now lets move to the 1980's.  Hanna/Barbera created the Smurfs.  A group of blue men who got along and managed just fine.  Then their arch enemy Gargamel wanted to destroy them in the very first episode so what plan did he come up with?????  Send a FEMALE into their camp. 

He sent this dark haired evil woman, although saying evil woman is an oxymoron, but anyway he sends her into their camp and she fucks everything up.  The smurfs must have a great capacity for acceptance and understanding, because they turned her from a venomous brunette whore into a simple minded, stupid blonde named Smurfette.


As we see thoughout history from man, to muppet to smurf, women have been the cause and blame for an endless amount of pain, misery and suffering. 

What have we learned? 








Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Whispers

You say this guy
This guy's in love with you
Yes I'm in love
Who looks at you the way I do
When you smile
I can tell
We know eachother very well
How can I show you
I'm glad
I got to know you
'Cause

I've heard some talk
They say you think I'm fine
Yes I'm in love
And what I do to make you mine
Tell me now, is it so
Don't let me be the last to know
My hands are shaking
Don't let my heart be breaking
'Cause

I need your love
I want your love
Say you're in love, in love
With this guy
If not I'll just die

(Trumpet interlude)

Tell me now, is it so
Don't let me be the last to know
My hands are shaking
Don't let my heart be breaking
'Cause

I need your love
I want your love
Say you're in love, in love
With this guy
If not I'll just die

I Need Your Love

Sigh.....

Boy have I been feeling alone lately.  Sometimes its as if the world has perished and I am left to sweep up the mess.

I wonder if I am meant to wander this world solo.

I know I sound as if I am feeling sorry for myself, and maybe I am but I want someone to love.  I want someone to spend time with. I want someone to talk to.

Its been 6 days without her, and I know the pain will cease at some point, but right now I am angry and depressed.

I cannot write her name and I cannot blog about her because I made a promise.

But it sucks that I have not found my match in life.  It sucks that I go to school and then work and then home.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_nmx4HWhBc&feature=share

I am not sure God made someone for me.

But I ask God to please get back in the factory and create the love of my life.

Maybe SHE wasn't my match but someone's gotta be!!!!

I'm tired of waiting.  I'm tired of hoping....

I'm just tired.



Thursday, November 22, 2012

Hot Chicks of the Day


Better Left Unsaid; Written or Shouted Preferred

There comes a time when every little golden haired boy who has a rideable choo choo train in his home to grow up.  Time when the arcade sized donkey kong game needs to be sold.  Time when you realize that you don't want to be friends with the black kid anymore from the Pepsi commercial because not only do you HATE PEPSI, but you also hate black people.

Your Dad is in jail and bankrupt and your now fucking his secretary, which became his girlfriend and then his wife.  But he's in jail so what the fuck does he know.

His accountant died of AIDS 20 years ago, and you thank God you didn't catch it as a result of that one night of curious experimentation.

You're pissed off that your best friend is now making funny movies while you barely register on the screen in straight to DVD Christian movies.

You had it all as a kid but now you have nothing.  Absolutely nothing, save for a couple of silver spoons......



Yeah, Ricky life's a fucking bitch.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Thanks-for nothing-Giving

So this year I will be spending Thanksgiving pouting and bitching, but I will be fucking this Indian Princess.

I guess I am thankful for Role Playing Hookers.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Why I Wanna F*** Guys

Ok, I am old enough to know that women are insane; that there is a reason God created them after animals. (Read Gensis people)

They are insane creatures of Middle Earth or a planet so distant this solar system. 

Recently I read a book, Men are From Venus Women Are From Hell, and it made everything make sense. Women are wired to be deranged, emotional stay at home moms with a non stop desire to nag and spend money.

There is a reason that Miss Piggy is the only female muppet and a fat fuck at that.  Think about it folks.  They needed one female for all of us to gang bang but also they wanted to limit their numbers at the Muppet Show.  Thank you glorious Jim Henson.

And by making Piggy fat, we'd be sure to only spunk in her face and not date her. Henson was a god damned god!!  Praise his name.

Here is a sample of an apology from a woman....

"I am sorry for what I did, but actually its all really your fault and you suck and you don't treat me right and you only use me for sex."

From where I stand today women are merely there for target practice.  Either shoot 'em in the head or spunk in their eyes and run like hell while they''re blinded.

I wish that God would turn me gay for Christmas this year so that I can no longer yearn for the touch and love of woman.