CHRISTMAS!!!
Why can't they just nail this holiday to a cross and be done with it? Oh I forgot in three days it'll just resurrect itself.
Non Muppets always ask me, "Why, Doctor Teeth, do you not like Christmas?"
Well it really is easy, and its not so simply stated being because I am a cranky scrooge.
I don't really believe in God or Jesus, so there is no religious connection for me.
I hate all the consumerism more than I can bare. BUY ME! GIVE ME! YOU OWE ME!
And at the time of the year when everyone is supposedly supposed to be super happy and friendly they are exactly the opposite. They are self centered, short sighted and short tempered. They have one thing on their minds....their own holiday and their own needs.
People drive like assholes and park wherever they fucking feel like.
Diners in restaurants tip like shit because they bankrupted themselves yet again to buy 50inch TV's and IPad's and Iphones all sorts of other shit that beings with the letter I.
How about the I don't give a fuck!!!!
And people with their fake smiles and incessant cheeriness. Shut up already and go back to ignoring me. Your fake sentiments do nothing to brighten my day.
Its awful... Animal couldn't handle it and chose the easy way out.
Kermit has been missing and is believed dead......
But I will do what I do every year and sit back and watch CASINO, and smile quietly as I look to survive another holiday where I truly feel alone and less than worthy.
It truly is weird to stand in a room full of family and feel like a complete stranger. To feel out of place. To feel like I don't belong. It is not their fault, it is my sense of self. Its my sense of self worth. Its my own stinkin' thinkin'.....
You know, there is a real person behind Doctor Teeth, he is not the controversial muppet you have all been lead to believe he is. There is a real person behind this mask and I think maybe its time that the real Doctor Teeth reveals himself....
My Christmas Gift to you all..........
And yes I am that damn sexy.
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