American Idiot

Hello-

Like most of you I hate my fucking job because my boss is a moron.  I know, you also have a boss that is a moron and there appears to be an epidemic of moron's.  There are so many morons that they now outnumber illegal Mexican's in the USA by a ratio of 4:1.

How did these morons get to be bosses in the first place?  Well in my case my boss had the money to create a place that put her in charge.  Its clear to my retarded friend who had his head run over ten times by a tractor that she doesn't know what she is doing.  Stevie Wonder can see that my boss is a piece of shit with no competency.

Has the government prepared itself for the plague of morons that are taking over this nation? Oh wait, I forgot that the government is GROUND ZERO for these morons.  If you're a moron you can't take care of the  Moron Problem.

This may be the end of civilization as we know it.  If the government decides to drop a nuke on the city to kill the onslaught of morons I will give them my bosses address so they can drop it on her ugly Frankenstein face.

Blackhawk Hotties

Tonight these sexy girls will take the ice and bring the Stanley Cup back to Chicago....





It won't be a sweep, but it'll be a nice set of cups for the Hawks.

RIP James Gandolfini

James Gandolfini died today. He was in Italy.  He was fifty-one.  What can I say……

Everyone will write the same story, where he came from, what movies he did, and how he changed television for ever with his portrayal of Mob Boss Tony Soprano.

But James was so much more of an actor, as that’s how we all knew him.  We knew of his roles.  But his roles varied so much it was hard to pin him down.  It was sometimes frustrating to accept some of the roles he took.  I wrote earlier, a few blogs back, that I was frustrated with his post Soprano career choices, but now he’s gone and I will cherish every single one of those roles. I will cherish every single moment of screen time he has given us and I will remember the blue collar actor who seemed larger than life in some roles, and cowering from life in others.

James Gandolfini joins the ranks of Brando, DeNiro, Pacino, etc., but not because he is dead; he had already achieved that status long ago.  But his death reminds us of what category of actor he was.  And it sickens me to write about this amazing man in the past tense.  It always hurts to reflect on someone so amazing who dies so suddenly at such a young age.

It’s amazing how we respond so emotionally to people we’ve never met, but watching their work created a connection to them.  And so hearing about James dying today hurt my heart and was so unexpected that it felt like a punch in the gut.

The world is again an emptier place without James in it, and the film world is short another amazing talent.

God Bless you James.  May you rest in peace.  And may you never be forgotten.

---Doctor Teeth

URSULA UNDRESS the Interview

Doctor Teeth has a special present for the readers. Here is my exclusive interview with Burlesque Performer URSULA UNDRESS.  The Good Doctor may have finally found his soul mate, or at least a date for the Prom that I never went to. Enjoy the following interview while I log off the four dating sites I'm currently logged on to....

http://www.ursulaundress.com/

1.  What is your name, how did you come up with it and what do you do?

My name is Ursula Undress...I am a burlesque performer, producer, and instructor. My name is something that sort of rolled around in my head when I first started performing...but Ursula was born on stage when I performed at an Unknown Hinson show....

2. What do you say to people who think your in the sex business?

Well, I perform what is considered to be the original art of the striptease, which has morphed and changed over time to what it is in strip clubs today - and both have a unique sexual energy behind them, so technically, I am in the sex industry. The intent behind what I do is meant to be entertainment first, and sexual second - if that makes sense. Sometimes it is meant to be funny, or thought provoking...yet there is always an aspect of sexuality in there because, well, I AM taking my clothes off - regardless of what is actually shown. 

3. What turns you on?

Wit...smart and funny are the perfect combination. I also love interesting and dynamic people...oh, and I have a fetish for nice hands and men in well-tailored suits!

 

4. What do you like best about what you do?

I like the constant creativity that comes along with performing....and with teaching, I like the challenge of coming up with new choreography and showing ALL women that they have this red hot light inside them somewhere - and that it can be turned on no matter what age, shape, or time of life they are in.

5. What turns you off?

Ignorance, liars, small minds, overblown egos, doormats, men who don't see past the physical attributes of women (I haven't encountered women who do this, but I am sure it isn't limited to men - just my experience)....heh....sad that I have such a long list...I could go on, and on. 

6. What are the big plans coming up for your act?

I have changed a lot of what i do over the past year...I think the big changes are that I AM growing and changing as a performer and no longer limiting my music choices or trying to rein in my sexuality on stage - I used to hold back a lot, and it made me a mediocre performer.

7.  Is it true you've been banned in several European countries?

Just the Catholic-heavy ones....heheh!

 

8. Did you ever watch me on the Muppet Show or in the movies?

I did (I am older than I look)! I actually have a high school friend who used to call herself 'Dr. Teeth' after she had her smile corrected. She is awesome, so I definitely have a soft spot for you.

9. Was I your favorite muppet?

Oh honey, do I seem like the kind of girl who limits her choices to just one?

10.  During the whole Elmo scandal last year I really rethought my life's purpose.
        What is the purpose of your life?  Or life in general?

Not to sound too "Oprah" or anything, but I think growing and becoming who you are supposed to be....to always strive to become the best you that you can be. Yep...that was definitely too "Oprah"...

 

11.  What is the biggest misconception about what you do?

That I get sexually turned on while I perform - what we do is completely thought out, planned, timed, and hard work! 

 

12 What is your favorite word?

Confection

 

13.  What is your favorite color?

lately it is turquoise, but it changes....

 

14.  A real man is......

Not afraid to communicate, someone who can admit his weaknesses, and knows when he is wrong

15.  When making love I wish I was........

In an anti-gravity chamber

 

16.  Do Pigs and Frogs really belong together? 

Love is love, man... 

17.  Do you think I'm attractive?

Do YOU? That is the more important question...and the only person that really matters. 

 

18.  If not for Burlesque what would you be doing?

Hrm....I have a BFA....I would probably be doing more graphic design than I do now. 

19. If someone asked you to pose topless, you'd......

Ask what I was posing for... 

20.  Wanna go out on a date with me. I got lots of cash and no morals?

 That could be fun! However, you should know that i don't often date men with so many roommates...



Check out her performance here on YOUTUBE>


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9YzqWTGhrw

Escapism: DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS

Most people have some form or another of handling a shitty day or escaping from a shitty day.
Some go out a fuck whomever.
Some drink, and drink a lot.
Many smoke weed.
Some will do cocaine.

But oh so many will pop Xanax, Klonipin, or Valum.

But when you're in recovery you cannot really rely on any of that, except maybe the sex unless its risky, unsafe and craigslisty sort of sex.

Sometimes as a person in recovery I am pissed because I don't get to shut down like everyone else. I am not allowed to escape.

Sure I take Klonipin, but its for anxiety and I don't abuse it.

There are times lately when I just want to disappear in a cloud of marijuana smoke.

Something to make me forget my woes and cares and just float away.

There is honor in being sober, but supposedly there is also honor in having your leg blown off by an IED in Iraq..... go fuck yourself.



Today I am jealous and envious of those who are allowed to smoke, drink and float away.

Origin Stories: Super Hero Movies

How often are they going to keep giving us Origin Stories?

Bruce Wayne came out of his mommy's vagina.
Peter Parker came out of his mommy's vagina.
Superman probably came out of his mommy's vagina.
Most of the Avenger's came out of Vagina's.

They all originate from their mommy's vagina's.

Then they are kids.  Playing with toys, getting into fights at school then one day being called to duty to be superhero's. 

We get it.  Enough of the origin stories. Give us some cool rivals, monsters, evil twins, etc. to have fun with. Enough of the born from mommy's vagina stories.

We know where Spiderman comes from.
We know where Superman comes from.
We know Bruce Wayne needs Welbutrin.

They should make a series of adult video's in which we get to see all of their parents "making" them.  Maybe Spiderman's mom is a real slut in bed.

Maybe Superman's parents fuck very differently than humans, since Superman is technically an alien.

I'd love to see how aliens have sex. 

I wonder also what Wonder Woman taking on Superman and Batman would be like.

Just because they are superhero's doesn't mean that have big cocks.

But who knows......

BEFORE MIDNIGHT

It’s been 18 years since Jesse and Celine got off that train together in Vienna.  And in BEFORE MIDNIGHT, written and directed by Richard Linklater and starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy, both who also co-wrote the screenplay, we meet up with the couple once again.

Before Sunrise was about youth and dreaming and the idea of falling in love the way young people fantasize about it.

Before Sunset was about two dreamers who had one night together who are now in different places in their lives finding each other once again.

Before Midnight asks us and them, can love really last?  That is one of many questions and idea’s raised in the latest film.  All three films are “conversation” films. They are about people talking and in this third installment we get to hear more than just Jesse and Celine talk about sex, love, life and death, but ultimately we get to be alone with them again.  Only this time the once innocent dreamers of love and life are now weighted down by the complexities of life.  Jesse is divorced and has a kid he only see’s during the summer.  His ex-wife is angry that Jesse fell in love with Celine and left her.  Celine is at a crossroads in her own life. The two of them have twin daughters now and Celine is wrestling between being a “domesticated” housewife and her independence as a woman in the working world. 

The conflict in Before Midnight is that Jesse feels guilty over not being a presence in his son’s life.  Celine fears this is the beginning of the end.  Jesse was always an optimist while Celine was always a pessimist, but they made it work.  But tough life choices now interfere with the happy ending that we all want love to have.  What makes this film work is its honesty about how love is a feeling that we navigate through when life happens. And sometimes life is unforgiving, unrelenting and just plain tough.

Both are now past 40, and are so far removed from their youth and innocence.  They feel the pressures of being a parent, being a spouse but also being true to themselves.  What we see for the first time is these lovers arguing.  And they spend a great deal of the film arguing.  But it’s that arguing that makes us wonder if they are going to make it.  It’s that arguing that makes us think about the love’s we’ve had and lost as well as the divorces and heartaches we ourselves have endured.  We want them to stay together because that fits the fantasy, but will they?

The film, as with the other two, ends on an ambiguous note.  There is a great likelihood they will not survive.  Will Jesse really sacrifice what he feels his son needs in order to stay with Celine?  Will Celine understand the importance of Jesse being a father to his son and move back to the States with him, or will they split up?

The three films feel like Apted’s, “Up” series where we revisit the same people ever few years to see where life has taken them.  Sometimes life has been kind, other times life has been difficult and unforgiving.  Jesse is complacent with Celine, but Celine seems fidgety.  She’s always been that way.  What’s so great about these films is that these characters are so three dimensional, and each sequel has shown a great dedication in staying true to these characters.

What’s difficult about Before Midnight is too watch and listen to Jesse and Celine being mean and angry toward each other.  But even the most connected couples have moments and periods of disgust, disdain and resentment toward one another.  Love is not easy and it’s not promised to be there tomorrow.  But it is worth fighting for.  And we get a sense as the camera fades that this couple will fight to stay together.

Sure it doesn’t end as sweet and beautiful as the previous two installments, but it does end honestly.  And the viewer, as with the previous two films, is asked to look inside themselves for what they believe.  The pessimist will believe this couple is doomed. The optimist will believe this couple will survive, and the realist will believe anything is possible.  We take our own experiences into these films and either connect to their experiences in our own way, or feel disconnected.

I cannot recall any other films that have given so much pure sincerity and asked for the viewer to search within themselves for what they believe love is.  I personally hope they make it, but I fear they won’t.