Road to Recovery

I got to be honest. Being clean and sober isn't as great as I thought it'd be.  Its good to not have to constantly chase a high or spend so much money but its kind of boring.  I used to have fun being high.  Playing music, laughing with friends, and going on adventures.

Now I am clean and have become reclusive, angry, lonely and bored out of my fucking mind.  Sometimes when my teeth hurt from the grinding I do at night (since I got clean) or when I am watching a cool movie, or whatever, I want to light a bowl and take that smoke deep into my lungs and just let it all flow away.



I know that smoking pot will not solve my problems, but I don't think I'm looking for it to do so anymore. I think I have a clear understanding of what my problems are and I don't think pot is part of that in the way NA would have me believe.



Maybe its just because I am bored.
Maybe its just because I'm lonely.
Maybe its because I just don't care.

But I really want to smoke some weed today!!!!


And they want me to smoke it too.