Two Fucked Up Photo's

This photo deserved a space on my blog all by itself.  I can only imagine the molestation and inbreeding that is going on within this family.  This photo makes being gay look gay!!  God I hope there is a video to go along with this picture.



I swear to God that is Bill Cosby in this photo.  This must be test footage for the opening of the Cosby Show.

Dr. Teeth Meets Ellen

Thank God it wasn't this Ellen I met.

Recently I was ordered by a Judge to attend Ron Jeremy's Sexaholics Class.  The judge felt that I had an addiction to women and sex.  I felt so judged by that judge!  But I decided that it was either that or prison and we know that I don't  like prison. Not after the last time.....


They dressed me up like a girl and made me fight! They made me fight! I had to kill her. I had no choice!!!!!!!

I was excited about going to sexaholics class because I figured what better way to get laid than there.  Right!!!!  But it was there that I would meet Ellen...

Actually it was just outside that I would meet Ellen.  She was the most beautiful woman janitor I ever seen emptying a bucket.


Ellen and I immediately connected our gaze!! It was like magic. We were both so taken in by each others beauty. 

This is how she saw me...

She called me her sweet Popeye!!

And this is how I saw her...



Isn't she lovely. Isn't she.... 236years old.

We sat and we talked about life.  She told me that she is in the Guiness Book for having the largest collection of Farts in Containers.  She collects them so that she may smell them at a later date.
Not a bad collection.

We also spoke of her favorite Tv show.

She wanted me to dress up as Vicki the Robot and put me in a closet.  Little did she know that when she looked into my pants, the name "small wonder" would have two meanings.

We decided to skip the coffee and the pie and go right to her place in the woods where she lived.

She called it a fix-er-upper and admitted that she'd never used a real toilet in her life.  This just made me hot and I wanted her so badly.

Would she want to have sex so soon.  We'd only just met and I had already missed my first sexaholics meeting. I might be going to prison.
GAY PRISON!!!

So as I took off her dress, several of her bones broke but she told me that would just make her more limber.  Her naked body reminded me of Rose's from Titanic when Jack is drawing her, only Ellen's body looked like Rose after she had been dead and buried for a century. I didnt' care I was addicted to sex.....

Ellen and I embraced and soon we were making love. It was so beautiful.


I finally climaxed and smeared that one drop of blood drenched semen on her face.  She was already dead!!!

I just looked at her lifeless body and cried.  Ellen was dead. 

The love of my life was dead.

Ellen if you can hear me. I didn't mean to kill you. But I really wanted to try that position I saw in that movie I told you about.


Maybe we shouldn't have done it on the stairs.

Good bye Ellen I love you.  And once I get out of Gay Prison I will visit your grave.

Sex With Midgets and/or Dwarfs

I'm one sick Muppet.  But I gotta be honest I think I wanna have sex with a midget and/or a dwarf.  First of all they are small and therefore certain things can happen that couldn't with a normie. 


Its kind of like screwing an underage person but legally.  I mean they have small hands, and small bodies so that fantasy is definitely possible.


I'd definitely take the two of these whores for a spin.


This porn got me to thinking about this very serious subject.  And now I want to fuck a midget and/or dwarf.

This is almost like a midget Octomom.  I would definitely fuck Bridget the Midget.  She can spin and jump and do flips.  She would also only be able to get the tip of Dr. Teeth's penis into her mouth.  Why is that good?  I am not sure I know.

Another midget and/or dward I'd have sex with is of course...


Gary Coleman.

But of course he's dead, which sucks.


I actually dated this indian midget but she dumped me for being too "small". That rotten bitch!!!

Teeth and the Pregnancy Scare

So I was dating this woman recently and we had a pregnancy scare.  Really she had the scare.  She thought she was pregnant. I  never thought she was but I found myself hoping that she was.  I thought about being a father and being with her and the three of us raising a child together.  It seemed beautiful.

Then I went to the library to use the computer and there were children running around.  I wanted to kill every last motherfucking one of them.



Then this mom had a new born and it was crying these shreiks that made me want to join Al Queda and fly an airplane into this baby.

So I think I learned a lesson.

1st -I am fucking insane to think I want a kid.
2nd-I think I just wanted to make this crazy relationship work at all cost.

The idea of having a screaming shit machine is more than I can bare.  I would rather be raped by sheep.


This is an artists rendition of what our baby would have looked like. It has my teeth.

Road to Recovery

I got to be honest. Being clean and sober isn't as great as I thought it'd be.  Its good to not have to constantly chase a high or spend so much money but its kind of boring.  I used to have fun being high.  Playing music, laughing with friends, and going on adventures.

Now I am clean and have become reclusive, angry, lonely and bored out of my fucking mind.  Sometimes when my teeth hurt from the grinding I do at night (since I got clean) or when I am watching a cool movie, or whatever, I want to light a bowl and take that smoke deep into my lungs and just let it all flow away.



I know that smoking pot will not solve my problems, but I don't think I'm looking for it to do so anymore. I think I have a clear understanding of what my problems are and I don't think pot is part of that in the way NA would have me believe.



Maybe its just because I am bored.
Maybe its just because I'm lonely.
Maybe its because I just don't care.

But I really want to smoke some weed today!!!!


And they want me to smoke it too.

The Guilt of Dr. Teeth

Going over the exact nature of my wrongs and how I have hurt others is a sobering experience.  It was one thing to write it down, but to have to say those sins to another person was brutal.

I have said some awful things to people ranging from wishing they were dead, to making fun of their dead parents, to calling them whore's to telling them their children hate them.  All of this in some attempt to remain dominant and not show the true pain and hurt I was suffering.

I have made people hate me because I was not able to convey my pain.  I have hurt others as a way to deal with my pain.  If I hurt you more than I will hurt less. But that wasn't true.  The more I hurt you the more I actually hurt.


Sure saying something shocking and hurtful brought me seconds worth of relief, but that relief was so short lived I immediately was left feeling much worse.

I attack because I feel worthless.  I hurt others because I am hurt.

I've held resentments for over 20 years.  My pattern started long before I started using, and got worse after I stopped because I now have to deal with my honest pain without medicating it. 



Its sad to realize that drugs didn't create this self destructive pattern, but that it was always a part of me.  But that doesn't mean I can't change it.  Becoming aware of it and owning up to it is the first step in making that change.

I have a chance to not verbally attack others.  Even if I feel compelled too, I can show restraint, if not only to show I am better than them.  But mainly to show that I can change.

I am sorry to those I have attacked with my words.  I am sorry that I have used the internet and my blog as a weapon against women who have hurt me.

My pain is real.  Please understand that.

Dr. Teeth reviews Sour Grapes in Concert

Sour Grapes played a solo acoustic set on June 28th 2012 at Starbucks.

I was asked by a personal friend to check out the Sour Grapes show the other night.  He had been playing in the Chicagoland area for the better part of 18 years.  He used to be in a Grateful Dead cover band called Mother Slims Uptown Saturday Night Stockyard Band with two twin cokeheads but they disbanded over royalty arguments.

So after a binge or two in Los Angeles, Sour Grapes was back in town and playing small gigs locally more as therapy and less as artistic.

It was hotter than Ginger Lynn's ass in that Starbucks but I was there to listen contently and I did. 

Sour Grapes opened his set with a rousing rendition of KC Moan, a Traditional song made popular by Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead.  Sour Grapes did a fine job of getting that hoarse, road weary sound to his voice during the song.

He then went on to cover Ripple, one of the Grateful Dead's most famous songs from the American Beauty Album.  He did a nice "jerry" imitation, with hints of an original voice in there at times.

Then Sour stumbled a bit on the song Good Night Irene, another traditional song first sung by  Huddie 'Lead Belly' Ledbetter.  Sour started to forget the chord progression and I'm pretty certain he made up an entire verse of lyrics when he forgot them.  It was in true Jerry Garcia fashion.  At least Sour made up new lyrics rather than mumble his way through the forgotten words.

Sour became aggrivated during this fumble when he went to a D chords rather than a C chord.  He cried out, "God Damnit!!" then quickly apologized and finished the song. It was still good but had its faults.


Then while the crowd was chatting, Sour dug into It Must Have Been the Roses by the Grateful Dead.  This was the first time Sour had played this live in almost 16 years.  The chords were spot on and so were the lyrics, but he was holding back . He shortened the song but kept it sweet.

He then dove into an amazing version of Bob Dylan's, When I Paint My Masterpiece.  He was back commanding the microphone and allowed the song to gain momentum all the up to the point where he cries out, "it sure has been a long hard ride."  You could feel the emotion all over this song.

Sour follwed up his Dylan two-fer with guest star Joel on the song She Belongs To Me.  He sang it beautifully, this time not making it so obvious that two different voices take verses in this song.  I've heard Sour play this before and he sometimes goes into two different voices to sing this song.  But this time he managed to keep it to one.

Sour ended the show with a short story about the legend that is Daniel Johnston and what an amazing lyricist he is.  Sour sang an extended version of the song True Love Will Find You In The End.

Let's hope it does. Sour was a bit rusty but overall gave a great performance during such hot weather and after such a long time away from the microphone.