Anti Abortion Photo's: A tribute to Midgets

The following are photo's the protestors should be carrying around......


Actually this is a photo from a Beach Boys Cover Band I was in back in 1988. I am the dude with the hair.



As the Beatles once said, "I just got Norweigan Wood..in my pants."


This is just fucked up. But the Anti Abortionists would get our attention.

Imagine if he'd have been aborted. He wouldn't be taking this awesome photo.



If she had been aborted she wouldn't be able to hang onto this PENCIL like she is.


Cuato from Total Recall could be the poster child for botched abortions.


All I am trying to say is that there are plenty of other photo's the Anti Abortion Protesters could use in their fight to make sure people like this are born.



And of course....


Punky Brewster!!!!!

Illinois Nazi's and Anti Abortion Protests

If there is one thing I hate more than Illinois Nazi's its the Anti Abortion protesters littering Cass Ave and Ogden Ave in Westmont today.  They are everywhere with all of their sickening large photo's of aborted babies.  Just take a look...

I don't mind the protesting but those fucking pictures are obscene even if they are true.  If I stood on the corner and held up a large photo like this one.........







I'd be arrested.  And I ask you which is worse visually, not theoretically.

Dr. Teeth Loses His Wisdom Teeth and His Self Respect

So a co-worker of mine is going under the knife to get his wisdom teeth pulled today and last night I had my first flashback.  I woke up sweaty and thinking I was in some Vietnamese Prison Camp with Abe Vigoda from The Barney Miller Show....


I couldn't shake the memory of those awful moments when I got my wisdom teeth pulled.

It was a hot summer day in 1999 and I was already reeling from two Xanax and the Valium the Vietnamese Dentist gave me. I was blindfolded and led into the operating room.


I had my headphones on and was listening to the Grateful Dead as I drifted off...

About two hours into the procedure I woke up!!!!  I vaguely remember the dentist asking me if I was all right. I looked over and saw what appeared to be a very sexy asian assistant.


She asked me, "Evwy-ting ok GI?"

I shook my head no. I could feel it in my bladder.  I had to pee and I had to pee now.  So the dentist and his assistant both took an arm and with the IV still hooked up they carried me down the hallway.  There was one slight problem.  The way the office was set up; the bathroom was outside the office.  So they led me into the janitor room.  There was a mop, a bucket and a sink coming out of the floor.

So this is how I was going to die.

I was in and out of consciousness.  But I regained it long enough to feel someone's hands on my beltbuckle and zipper. God I hoped it was the gorgeous assistant.


But I suddenly realized it was the Dentist HIMSELF!

I was almost to drugged to

Two Fucked Up Photo's

This photo deserved a space on my blog all by itself.  I can only imagine the molestation and inbreeding that is going on within this family.  This photo makes being gay look gay!!  God I hope there is a video to go along with this picture.



I swear to God that is Bill Cosby in this photo.  This must be test footage for the opening of the Cosby Show.

Dr. Teeth Meets Ellen

Thank God it wasn't this Ellen I met.

Recently I was ordered by a Judge to attend Ron Jeremy's Sexaholics Class.  The judge felt that I had an addiction to women and sex.  I felt so judged by that judge!  But I decided that it was either that or prison and we know that I don't  like prison. Not after the last time.....


They dressed me up like a girl and made me fight! They made me fight! I had to kill her. I had no choice!!!!!!!

I was excited about going to sexaholics class because I figured what better way to get laid than there.  Right!!!!  But it was there that I would meet Ellen...

Actually it was just outside that I would meet Ellen.  She was the most beautiful woman janitor I ever seen emptying a bucket.


Ellen and I immediately connected our gaze!! It was like magic. We were both so taken in by each others beauty. 

This is how she saw me...

She called me her sweet Popeye!!

And this is how I saw her...



Isn't she lovely. Isn't she.... 236years old.

We sat and we talked about life.  She told me that she is in the Guiness Book for having the largest collection of Farts in Containers.  She collects them so that she may smell them at a later date.
Not a bad collection.

We also spoke of her favorite Tv show.

She wanted me to dress up as Vicki the Robot and put me in a closet.  Little did she know that when she looked into my pants, the name "small wonder" would have two meanings.

We decided to skip the coffee and the pie and go right to her place in the woods where she lived.

She called it a fix-er-upper and admitted that she'd never used a real toilet in her life.  This just made me hot and I wanted her so badly.

Would she want to have sex so soon.  We'd only just met and I had already missed my first sexaholics meeting. I might be going to prison.
GAY PRISON!!!

So as I took off her dress, several of her bones broke but she told me that would just make her more limber.  Her naked body reminded me of Rose's from Titanic when Jack is drawing her, only Ellen's body looked like Rose after she had been dead and buried for a century. I didnt' care I was addicted to sex.....

Ellen and I embraced and soon we were making love. It was so beautiful.


I finally climaxed and smeared that one drop of blood drenched semen on her face.  She was already dead!!!

I just looked at her lifeless body and cried.  Ellen was dead. 

The love of my life was dead.

Ellen if you can hear me. I didn't mean to kill you. But I really wanted to try that position I saw in that movie I told you about.


Maybe we shouldn't have done it on the stairs.

Good bye Ellen I love you.  And once I get out of Gay Prison I will visit your grave.

Sex With Midgets and/or Dwarfs

I'm one sick Muppet.  But I gotta be honest I think I wanna have sex with a midget and/or a dwarf.  First of all they are small and therefore certain things can happen that couldn't with a normie. 


Its kind of like screwing an underage person but legally.  I mean they have small hands, and small bodies so that fantasy is definitely possible.


I'd definitely take the two of these whores for a spin.


This porn got me to thinking about this very serious subject.  And now I want to fuck a midget and/or dwarf.

This is almost like a midget Octomom.  I would definitely fuck Bridget the Midget.  She can spin and jump and do flips.  She would also only be able to get the tip of Dr. Teeth's penis into her mouth.  Why is that good?  I am not sure I know.

Another midget and/or dward I'd have sex with is of course...


Gary Coleman.

But of course he's dead, which sucks.


I actually dated this indian midget but she dumped me for being too "small". That rotten bitch!!!

Teeth and the Pregnancy Scare

So I was dating this woman recently and we had a pregnancy scare.  Really she had the scare.  She thought she was pregnant. I  never thought she was but I found myself hoping that she was.  I thought about being a father and being with her and the three of us raising a child together.  It seemed beautiful.

Then I went to the library to use the computer and there were children running around.  I wanted to kill every last motherfucking one of them.



Then this mom had a new born and it was crying these shreiks that made me want to join Al Queda and fly an airplane into this baby.

So I think I learned a lesson.

1st -I am fucking insane to think I want a kid.
2nd-I think I just wanted to make this crazy relationship work at all cost.

The idea of having a screaming shit machine is more than I can bare.  I would rather be raped by sheep.


This is an artists rendition of what our baby would have looked like. It has my teeth.